Crush Me

What I need
she says to me
she says to me
what I need
is you to crush me
hands up
defensive wounds
she needs from me
and she
can’t feel me
where I’m from,
what I mean when I say
stop
when I say
stop and breathe
just
breathe
on me
and she
can crush me
what is left
humilty?
I say she knows this art
but she
can crush me
skin and blood
defensive wounds
is she sweet
or rough with me
like the rest are rough with me
so she
shall crush me
take it back
taken back
bring it sweet
and gently?
No,
just crush me
underneath
beat
hands in front
defensive wounds
and overtones
like a cat
taken back and that
I say
to crush me
beads of sweat
sweet?
no, be rough with me
and she
can crush me.

— Conect11, Jul 04, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

bloody brilliant

possibly, (take it with a grain of the litre of red wine under my belt) the best poem of yours I have read. I was touched. Experienced it. And admire the structure and lucid use of repetition as well. ooh mate! cheers, Jess

Quillsvein1

18 years 11 months ago

Painful and effective

I can definitely tell that you write from-the-gut, unrestrained poetry and it shows here more, perhaps, than in anything else I've read from you. Your desire to escape the inherent cruelty of people is sort of reversed in a way with this woman needing wounds from you...wow. Good job.

Word

18 years 11 months ago

Beware of incoherency

Whom ever inspired this one is brilliant, he or SHE must be!! JESUS! I love these lines "No, just crush me underneath beat hands in front defensive wounds and overtones like a cat taken back and that I say to crush me beads of sweat sweet? OMG totally slamming(lol) taken back and that just works and then....WOW

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