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I
IKnowNoBox
Sep 02, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

haiku(not traditional)

I’ll be a Fool you

be a Doll,in a toy box

castle we will play

— IKnowNoBox, Sep 02, 2007

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

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Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 9 months ago

Hey IKnow ....

This poem has really got me to be honest. I'm thinking why would you want to be a fool? Doll as in a great looking woman? What is the meaning of a cardboard castle? (a home that will easily break apart?) I have a feeling that there is underlying meaning that I am just not getting. Maybe if I had a few final words or you can reply here or reach me by messaging. Do you think this style Haiku (one complete statement or idea) is more dificult to write than seperate related statements? Honestly, Mark L
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 9 months ago

A Fool

The Jester,a card in Tarot decks,challenging people to not take themselves too serious,as well as a collectable designer doll. I also elude to a poam by R.T..A cardboard castle is only as strong as the imaginations that build it. Curious,how do you feel it would work with toy box instead of cardboard. I will take note of my use of one complete statement or idea vs. seperate related statements.If you would be so kind to suggest a few examples of each,I'de be gratful. gratfully Dabbler
Mark

Mark

18 years 9 months ago

Deep hidden sorts

I was right me being thrown off - certainly as advertised or not traditional. I can't re - write it but you obviousy are on with the haiku ! Write on! Thanks for responding to my not understanding, Mark L
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 9 months ago

Honestly man,

Haiku is not just about counting the syllables, it is one of my most deeply respected forms of poetry, it compresses meaning utterly, and does not require post-modern references, yes I do know the Fool card in tarot. Maybe you are extending the form, that is your right, but I do respect the premise that it takes a reference to nature and creates a human meaning from it. cheers, Jess

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