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Inspiration (haiku)

   Wind in deep cavern

   Caressing glowing embers

   a changing vision

— IKnowNoBox, Oct 01, 2007

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

More from this author

Critiques

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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

Reminds me of

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" Hope it's OK w/u - a couple comments, offered kindly and, hopefully, helpfully? First, did you intentionally misspell "Inspiration"? Second, in Haiku, Senryu, those elegant little 17-syllable pictures, obviously each syllable packs a punch. I would be very interested to see this little gem revised such that the syllables "a" and "and", which are linking syllables, are replaced with evocative syllables. For example: from: "Wind in a cavern" to: "Wind in deep cavern" or some such, and from: "Caressing smoke and embers" to: "Caressing smoky embers" or some such... do you see what I mean? Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

Wow!

Now THAT'S a powerful, evocative, picturesque 17 syllable portrait! Good, good job! Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

I am

therefore thou art! & what art you produce, my inky friend! Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 8 months ago

Instalation Sort of...

sculpture/performance Whoop Art,Salvage Art,and Full Contact Art! Thank you Stay Tuned The show outside the box
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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

????

I'm fascinated! Can't wait to hear more... Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

Well, if you turn things around

a bit, you could also have paintrockets and wristballs -- but that doesn't sound quite right, does it? ;) Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
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waterdragon

18 years 8 months ago

you make me

smile! Thanks for being so real! I invite you, btw, to my latest blog? It's shameless self-promotion, I readily admit... Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!

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