weirdelf

Dec 31, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Shame

I stroll down a sunny Sydney street.
and stop
doubled over with debilitating pain,
remembrances of rotten things done to others.

If I was Catholic I could go to confession,
if masochistic mutilate myself,
suicidally slice myself.

But I am stuck with remembrance of shame
Can only try to do better.

Or no worse.

— weirdelf, Dec 31, 2007

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

purplemoondoll

18 years 5 months ago

It's funny how

these things can suddenly catch up with us. The problem with self mutilation is it doesn't solve anything any more than confession at church. I guess the best we can do as you say is live with our sins and learn from them. 'try to do better'. Sorry if that sounds a little deep or obscure. This poem touched a nerve - in a good way. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

thanks for your compassionate response

But it's not funny at all. I have done a 12 step program but there are some one can never make amends to, merely re-entering their lives would do more harm. I have lived like Hunter S. Thompson and caused much harm, but I choose to live with it. Maybe, just maybe, I might get a chance to make amends some time, or if not, as I said, at least do no more harm. cheers, Jess

dbaker

18 years 5 months ago

Talk about a personal piece.

Talk about a personal piece. This should be used in conjunction with other poems you have created. It gives a very personal glimpse of who and what you are.-DSB Forgiveness is one of those tricky things that ultimately the only person that can really "give it to you" is yourself. One of those intangible qualities that humans seem to posses. The longer you hold on to those things that cause you to seek forgiveness, the longer they harm the vessel. Yes I agree with you, sometimes its best to be able to at least cause no more further harm. Thanks for posting such a private write. Your mate -DS Baker

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

thank you

most true cheers, Jess

IKnowNoBox

18 years 5 months ago

Twist the tool as a dagger

why and how we insert our perceived wrongs...again into our lives and tangle our pleasant moments into frayed balls that always get coughed up as hair balls. No further harm...I will react to only those that pose danger to me or others. Yet to suffer at my own action...yes I will take my lumps. In ink, dabbler

Patthepoet

18 years 5 months ago

Comment on "Shame"

I really like the last two lines of this poem. I think you came up with a good cure. I'm not Catholic so I don't know what confession really does for the soul. I'm not a masochist so I don't think that will heal the heart, and since I think suicide is a sin against your self, that's no good either. The poem is well constructed. I read it a couple of times. I will have to read a few more of your poems, however, to get a really good idea of how your talent flows. I liked this first one and think you must of thought about it for awhile. Thanks for sharing. Pat.

whitetea

18 years 5 months ago

One thing that has made me

One thing that has made me really reach into poetry (and by this I mean the poetry of others) is finding pieces that mirror where my thoughts or life has been before. I really connect with this piece.

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

hey thanks,

that's one of the best comments a poet can get, and reflects what I love about this site, reaching into the poetry of real live writing poets is scary and thrilling. cheers, Jess

themoonman

18 years 5 months ago

The first time I read this...

I loved it but didn't know how to comment, it seemed so personal. To me it say's you are a stand-up man..nothing wrong with that. Enjoyed the read...

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

a stand-up man

wow! Haven't been called that since I used to hang out with a lot of crims, in Aussie crim terminology that is the highest praise, thank you, I think 8) cheers, Jess

themoonman

18 years 5 months ago

Hi Jess...

Here in the Carolina's it is a compliment also... cheers to you...

RSScheerer

18 years ago

Shame

A tool that we subconsciously use on ourselves. A sharp cut and a wound that never completely heals. Even scar tissue aches with the memory of perfection. We are the only ones who can control the shame and pain. Perfect sentiment at the end, sometimes we can only try to do no more harm. Best, Ronda

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