A verse on love

When a heart sings
along as the piano, love plays,
and his darts Cupid aims;
the song sounds better, as if to satisfy
the demand that in stride it invokes.

Such does but forth a verse brings,
whose intricacy only divine clays
can of its mould lay claim.
then its harp the heart leans to string,
and rely on the tune it provokes.

— slybard, Mar 05, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: Kampala, Uganda, UGA

Favorite Poets: Jonathan Swift, Sarah Kay, William Shakespeare, Elizabeth Browning, Christina Rossetti, Grace Nichols, The Lantern Meet of Poets (the biggest and oldest society of poets in Uganda)

Critiques

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

now

There is a fresh statement about love interesting style you have Chrys

slybard

18 years 3 months ago

love it is

i happen not to believe in love...i mean "falling in love" but thank God i can write about it quite well...

professor

18 years 3 months ago

Needs a few small changes/corrections I think

This one is getting there and has nice attempted extended imagery. I had a little difficulty with understanding a couple of the lines. I may have got your meaning wrong but might i suggest a few changes/corrections... "the demand that inside it evokes" "then its harp the heart learns to string, and beats to the rhythm it forms" In the last line i used "forms" to link up with the clay moulding image in the preceding lines. Keith

slybard

18 years 3 months ago

ok

i think i can do that...thanx.

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