Desperation In D Minor

Barbara Writes

without the almighty god to rely on

I would not be the person I am

I realize God is not the cause of people actions

he gave us free will to do the right thing.

some just use it for the wrong.

Hi Cat, I'm a little late to the party it seems. Really liked the titled btw, don't have any relation to the theme, but till didn't stop it being good. BTW, funny thing, say the title in a german accent and it gets another meaning: "Desperation in dee minor". As in "the" yeah? It was funnier in my head! In any case, nice work as per usual. Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

The title is what pulled me in here and I was thinking music. Along the way I realized "the minor" but now that Kieran brings it forward I wanted to stop in to say the tilte was a refrence to music and was why I initialy dropped in and certainly was surprised and "taken". Abuse seems to be so wide spread and messed up so many lives. Knowing in my life so many (including myself) I can only imagine the extent of it in truth. I am so glad you have it together Stix. Take care of yourself, Mark

I'm sorry to say this has happened to me once, but only once. That one time was mortifying and I have never told anyone about it. I just split my mind into holding two realities; it happened and it never happened. And now I feel better admitting it to myself (and at least to you). I commend you Candlewitch (and rsscheerer) for having the strength to come to terms with everything.

...given me chills.this is a perfect peice that you better never touch.And the way you used every word with a d was brilliant.Brava! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

The title was perfect.and i've just read everyones comments and I'm actually suprised more people don't know about this sort of thing.Someone should speak out and make people aware.Of course,it won't stop it all but certainly some right?As a victim of sexual abuse I know how hard it is to speak of it,i don't usually, due to the violent nature of one of those experiances,but here at neopoet I have found others like myself who have suffered the same afflictions,and it has helped alot to talk about it,being it's easier to talk to strangers than people close to you,at least for me.But again,Brilliant work! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.

Barbara Writes

it is easier to talk to people you don't know

true for me that is

I had to come back and read everyone's comments. Alobar and Daniel really touched me; their comments are as strong as the poem itself because you made them feel something that they have never experienced (at least Alobar, Daniel did not clearly say, but I hope he is free from this sort of burden). Every time I read this it sends chills through me. But I read it both to remember and forget. As much as I hate the men who abused me (because in my case it happened more than once and at different ages), part of me realizes how strong I am now despite their attempts to condemn me to a life of self-hatred. I wish that you had lived with your Dad. I also find a twisted satisfaction knowing that he did find out and act on that knowledge. Justice sometimes wears a vicious mask. The animals who steal so much from the young deserve no better. ~ Ronda Our opinions regarding a conventional god are identical as well. Perhaps some find peace in religion, and I hold nothing against them for that. It just did not work for me.

amazing work; amazing courage I have not yet begun to dig that deep into my past; but when I do start to deal with it I know I can expect to find the same compassion & support. You inspire me, thank you for your bravery. It is also quite extraordinary that you could keep the aliteration that tight, it flows; not at all akward. I'm always impressed when someone can keep the technical and the artistic in balance. Great work; I will not forget this poem Much Repsect Frost

One word - stunning. Definitely your best so far. Excellent Cat - really excellent. :-) To be able to tackle such a difficult subject in such a powerful way speaks volumes. I invite you - if you get a chance to read - A Life's Potential in my profile, which tackles a similar subject. You do it much better though methinks - well done! Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

seems not! Too much of this happens even in so called civilized society. Some families engender it even, sadly. I'm sure there are many who are so ashamed that they won't speak up, even as adults. Good write Cat, sorry for your pain and of those who have good reason to empathize. I can only imagine, but I have known others who were so harmed. I wish you all the best of luck in dealing with it in whatever ways you are able to do so. :) Patrick/AO

Barbara Writes

some recover well from this and go on to live happy productive live.

one so close to me, experienced this.

It made me mean with vicious words.

takes time but you do come to grip and forgive.

sometimes I wonder if I did forgive.

I do know this I let go of the anger.

never happen to me but one so close.

still hard to think about

This touches me @ so many levels WHAT AN IMPACK! I feel your pain. Being adopted, and having 2 adopted brothers, not feeling that sisterly bond I understand the questions, the anger, and the infamous question Why? Only to have 2 boys myself, and having one brother abuse my sons>>>> DIFis comming in and finding nothing>>>> years later of untold abuse on my boys, my sons told me>>>> Lets say glad my Xhusband ( Father to my Sons ) was a police officer at the time. Through all of this my only salvation was and is my addiction to writing, for my self first and the world only from time to time. Hugs>>> Mother Earth's Spirt is a comfort If God is the Father someone should call Difis on him, he has alot to answer for. El

For a haunting piece. The alliteration serves as a series of hammer-blows to the heart, especially for another survivor. Although it wasn't my father, the pain comes to the surface just as easily. Brave write, Cat. You never cease to amaze with your strength. ~Ronda

You have spoken for all of us with this piece wonderful alliteration I agree with Ronda it drives the point home Chrys

thank you. It is horrendous how much this goes on. Public awareness helps but does not stop it. Great poem too. cheers, Jess

I have no frame of reference for this poem, but the final three lines hit me like a thousand broken hearts all at once. Humanity Sometimes I am ashamed of you.

This one fell heavy on my tear ducts. Mind you I do not use them often. The title is brilliant, I hear the music of Bach. Toccata en fugue in D minor suits the stingers and crescendos of this poem. This belongs in a national public service announcement commercial campaign. The music playing, the words being read by a young female actor. Scenes showing a variety of supposed offenders running to their remote controls, scrambling to change the channel. As actual offenders run to their remotes in subconscious fearful shame. Teach the world with power like this. Victims need a voice like this. As for a technical breakdown... Your final line "don't...Daddy...don't" is going to hit with impact regardless of the brilliance and vocab use above it. Yet it may be harmonious to frame this line by changing "Daddy's doll" to "doll Daddy's doll" as it would still preserve flow while creating a familiarity with this pattern of word repetition/sandwiching. So when readers do reach the last line, they have already been tickled by the pattern and now are even more vulnerable to being impacted by its power. I also feel "dulcet dutiful dove" is just as strong but more comfortable to read as "dutiful dulcet dove". In the second line I would consider capitalizing "daddy's" as it is caps in the other two uses within the poem. Great work and thank you for sharing with me this lesson. With every great poem I read, I become a better human. Daniel

Not much more I can add to what has been said by others really Cat, although your subject is one I seem to come across far too often now for comfort. Sometimes I even find myself trying to vaguely understand what motivates sexual feelings towards your own child by looking at my 15 year old daughter who is stunningly attractive and has chosen to live alone with me rather than with her mother and brother. But thankfully all I feel is a totally asexual paternal pride and love. As far as the poem is concerned I suppose I should be honest and say that for me personally the heavy alliteration actually detracts (no "d" pun intended)from the power of your words but it does create a broader appeal and therefore will get the message across more effectively I guess. Keith

and Daniel is right on.

What a title..for me the d's were a little distracting, but I'm an old country boy and it caused me to read and re-read which is a good thing, and each time I reach the last line I get all shivered up, so don't change anything. I like reading your poems..you have quite the depth and an eye for the story...glad you are here. I don't understand sexual abuse...I was never a victim and my kids better never experiance those things as I believe I would spend the rest of my day's in prison for taking the culprit out. I cringe through a lot of these writes by these folks and have to wonder what would be attracive in taking liberties with anyone...let alone a child. To me it is the worst sort of human out there... I'm sorry..see what your poem did to me...excellently written.... Richard

with a message to the victims and survivior alike,and those that support recovery after the secret is broken... when eyes cry alone they flood out assistance In ink, David

Though the deluge of alliteration seems (to me) somehow an odd device for the subject, it is memorable; and this poem is definitely disturbing and depressing. In all, quite effective!

I've been wanting to comment, sometimes it is hard when all you want to do is forget but forget that never happens because it lives in a small closet in the back of my heart and it is so so sad that even though we are not the guilty party, we are the ones left broken so we do what we need to do and go on.... haunting you know the saddest thing is that in some crazy way, you wish they could just love you and admit that they hurt you, I don't know maybe this came out the wrong way Marie

test comment-- in reply to "Cat" (rsscheerer). Original: http://www.neopoet.com/node/8997/23096#comment-23096 {IGNORE THIS -- just a test}

OK, it touched a nerve with lots of people but the poetry is not outstanding. No offense but tis is a stream that reacts to emotion more than critical feedback. I say enough is enough. cheers, Jess

at ten years old was sexually accosted, I think regularly thereafter, by her sleaze-ball stepfather. Thankfully, he died before she, in her early adulthood, told me the little about it that she did, so I didn't have to kill him. But with his natural death my anger over it didn't leave me, and still hasn't, some approx. 30 years after his expiratory happy (in retrospect) event. A brilliant piece here. You've captured, I think, the essence of good poetry---the feeling part, that is. Anything more is unnecessary. Thanx, Chuck PS: "If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that it is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know it is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?" ---Emily Dickinson

great use of alliteration to pound in the sharp edges of the point. don't mind me, just digging through everything you've posted, and enjoying it very much. but this is my favorite. Niki

Poetry is that which makes a person feel something...at least this is the way that I view it. It comes from our hearts. We can either like it or not...agree or disagree. We all have something to say, and this is something that pulls at my heart. In a small way, it also happened to me...but in the middle of the molestation, I was rescued by the friend of my great uncle. My dear rescuer and friend, Paul, told me to stay the heck away from this person. I was probably 6 or 7 years old, and knew nothing about life. My father was in and out of my life...and could have cared less. Thanks for sharing your heart with us in such a powerful way. Wolfy.

I did not see this one, Great Job. And the last phrase I wrote so similiar in mine, that final plea must be a common one. Great write, on such a sad reality. Sincerely, Mar