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Janice Pearce

Sep 10, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Baby Boomers Gone Wild

"What's that you say?
I missed a doctor's
appointment today,
swore that it was scheduled
for the second of May."

"No, I didn't leave the water
running you must be mistaken
I'm certain it was turned off
hope I didn't flood the basement."

Searching through the house
can't find my darn keys
back-tracking isn't helping
"Where the hell could they be?"

Thought I stepped on the car brake
but I hit the gas instead
seems old age is playing
games with my head.

"Hold on," I tell the clerk
"I have the right change."
Fumbling around in my purse
is driving others insane

To confuse me even further
we now have pre-paid gasoline
"Sir, it's posted on the pump
the world is crawling with thieves."

"My pin-pad number?, Oh crap
How do you expect me
to remember that?
"What happened to plain old cash?"

I keep tripping on those
damn handicap ramps
painting them yellow doesn't help
I keep falling on my ass.

Late fees on an overdue bill
thought this to be quite rash
It must have been accidentally
thrown in the trash

I've got the whole day
to drive around in my car
so why the big hurry
to get to your bar?

I took a wrong turn
found myself in his tavern
"Forgive me, I toasted
these days I forget
more than I remember."

— Janice Pearce, Sep 10, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

P

poewriter58

17 years 9 months ago

Janice

I got a chuckle out of this one Wonder why that is lol nice bit of writing Chrys

17 years 9 months ago

Chrys

That is exactly what I hoped to acomplish just a smile or laugh makes my day~Thanks! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

funny piece

Smiles:) Barbara the thing I see older people is hilarious sometimes, nice one.

17 years 9 months ago

Barbara

Yes it is enevitable, old age, but I gotta laugh[or chuckle under my breath] while I'm still somewhat functional "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

Janice

Yes, I got a laugh out of this, it is really cute.

17 years 9 months ago

Hi Linda

Thank you for reading I'm so glad it brought a smile to you face! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

Janice

That's scary, I do half of this stuff now! Very entertaining write. I think the thing I hate the most is walking into a room, and having no clue why I went there in the first place. ~Jess ---------------------------------------------------- "I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I can pull some strings and find out...." - George Carlin

17 years 9 months ago

Jess

You got a laugh out of me for admitting that lol! Thanks for stopping by~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 9 months ago

Very Funny Jan

Glad you got this idea from some guy at the gas station and not your sister. I walk all around and say now what did I come in here for and the dog cocks her head. Then I remember, sometimes.I hate it when you go sit down and then remember why you came in the room! Guess thats how I get my exercise! Ha ha..I try to make lists, but lose them too! LOL Patty

17 years 9 months ago

Patty

I do have a sister with dementia and it is so sad but we have to keep a sense of humor or we'd crack up! Lose your lists? Thats funny! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

very funny...

the really funny part is.. that is me in your poem.. lol except for the tavern part ... loved this write of yours... Richard

17 years 9 months ago

Moon

I didn't mean to portray you! At least everyone is having their daily laugh thanks for stopping by~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

You had me at the title

You had me at the title "Baby Boomers Gone Wild". The rest of it I don't remember. Laugh out Loud. Seriously, the stress of today's living seems to affect all of us in the same manner young or *old*. My children even admit to it. I think when we keep telling the same stories over and over and over again... that's when we're in dementia land. ;-) Much enjoyed this romp down *forgetting* lane... ~Anna

17 years 9 months ago

Anna

So glad you enjoyed the romp.Yes the title is catchy. lol Just had to have some fun today.Thanks Anna! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

p.s. And the freaking keys

p.s. And the freaking keys are ALWAYS exactly where we leave them. Damn! wink. Almost forgot to mention... my dad purchased the videos "girls gone wild" at the age of 78 or something. He loved the Jerry Springer show... much theater... i once in a while watched it with him... too embarrassed or too shocked (?) most of time... lol. He died the day after xmas 2004. ~

17 years 9 months ago

Anna

I always put my keys in my purse, so I don't have a problem losing them. So sorry you lost your dad at such a special time of the year. Lost my mom twenty eight years ago and still miss her dearly. "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

MI

Mohammad Yamin Iraqi

17 years 9 months ago

Baby Bloomers Gone Wild

It is a touching write, Janice -not a laughing matter. These are symptoms of senility which are bound to come in some lives at an advanced age. As a poem it is captivating. Best wishes. Mohammad

17 years 9 months ago

Mohammad

Thank you for your comment, and welcome to the site! Don't know that I have read any of your poetry Im trying to catch up~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 9 months ago

Hi Janice

I really enjoyed this - loved the sense of humour. Best wishes ... Leonard

17 years 9 months ago

Leonard

Glad that you liked this, we have to have a sense of humor, or we get really really cranky! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

Hey Janice

Smiles:) Barbara I lost my ring of keys twice, lock them in the car forgot the count, forget where i going and drive around in circle missing the turn gotta write everything down in my planner just to remember or they won't get done got it bad. your poem a refreshing it make see the humor in myself laugh this was fun read.

17 years 9 months ago

Barbara

That is the ultimate compliment to pay ourselves, by laughing about it~Thanks for commenting, appreciate it! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

Congrats on Spotlight!

~Jess ---------------------------------------------------- "Live every day as if it were your last; one day you'll be right...."

17 years 9 months ago

Jess

Thank you sooooooooo much~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

funny

Janice, thank you so much for making me laugh, and looking at the day to day funny things we do that latter we can laugh at. love it, Eddie if a man does not know love, he does not know God

17 years 9 months ago

Eddie

Glad you found the time to read, this and lighten your day! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

G

grasshopper

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

This was, hilarious and--uh, oh, what was I going to say now? 'Dawg, if I can remember. It's great to know you have a sense of humor along with your other wonderful traits. Rich

17 years 9 months ago

Hi There Rich

Thank you so much! I appreciate you stopping by and commenting. [glad you found your way to this one] lol "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

Baby Boomers Gone Wild

So much truth to this, Thanks for your comment sir~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

LOL

I almost decked some bimbo that was in a big rush to go nowhere while I was waiting for a casheer to finish with me. Geeze she was breathing down my neck :( BUT I am just as quilty when some idiot in front of me is buying 200 dollars worth of scratch tickets. How long has there been pre-pay at the pumps now ? LOL Easy and fun reading, Janice ! Mark

17 years 9 months ago

Hi Mark

Scratch tickets? How about the ones that have to rattle off all their magical numbers for the lottery? lol [three digit, five digit ,boxed, straight, bla bla bla] In our neck o'the woods prepay just caught up to us cause it's not a big city with big city ways.Anyway, glad I gave you a laugh for the day~ Mission accomplished! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

17 years 9 months ago

you've got to laugh

strangely I was doing all those things in my 20's (but there may have been substances involved) cheers, Jess

17 years 9 months ago

Baby Boomers Gone Wild

Thanks for commenting Jess~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

E

easylife_2

17 years 8 months ago

Good write Friend

I find it touching,funny but very touching because I have people that are affected by this symptoms.It got me thinking about old age and 'post'pondering,forgive me if there is a word like that.

17 years 8 months ago

easylife

Hey I like your new word: POSTPONDERING Thanks for the comments, always appreciated~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

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