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ID
Ink Dragon
Sep 21, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Primal Chaos

Whenever a star is born, the orchestra strikes up.
The drums beat wild tattoos,
the pipes twitter madly like disturbed birds,
and the clarion emits a triumphant tune.

All the cast puts in an appearance,
and the special effects team runs havoc
with explosions, lightning and all the other tricks in the box.

Whatever happens when a star dies?
— Ink Dragon, Sep 21, 2008
More from this author

Critiques

A

Arrow

17 years 8 months ago

Maybe I am a lazy thinker,

but I want you to tell me what happens when a star dies. The opening was so good; please illuminate me at the end.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 8 months ago

Agreed

With a little expansion of the ending, this will be a very well put together piece. Nice to see you posting again. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- "Johnny was a chemist’s son, but Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H2O, was really H2SO4...."
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 8 months ago

Thanks, Jess

I´ll think of a suitable ending...could be running for the evolution thingy then...Having the time at the mo (for glorious three weeks approx.), I do enjoy being back! In Ink, Dragon
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 8 months ago

Frankly, I like ...

the existential---perhaps allegorical too---question hanging over the end of what then makes this a cliffhanger. All in all, very well put/crafted. Thanx, Chuck
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 8 months ago

Thanks, Chuck

That was the original idea. Still, it´s not a bad idea to think of an "answer"...Maybe there´ll be two poems instead of one... In Ink, Dragon
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 8 months ago

I think a separated ...

two's a great idea. More room for yin to weave against your present yang ... without interference that might pop in were you to combine the two in one, which just may of necessity blunt their perhaps differing impacts. Thanx again, Chuck
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

We die. oh sorry, that was

We die. oh sorry, that was rhetorical. yeah, dig it. Your poetry is more interesting and provocative than it is poetical, a sound basis. cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 6 months ago

Why, thanks

for calling my poetry "provocative", this is exactly what I´m about: I want to provoke people into thinking!!! Glad I found some -including you- here who don´t need to be provoked. I promise to look at your stuff once I find the time, as I said before: Time gets away from me, the day should have 36 hours... Cheers to you, ID
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Nina this ones just

Dear Nina this ones just beautiful ... just leaving my X letting you know I was here , had to let you know how very much I loved this one its soooo poignant for me being a performer whatever happens when the star dies ... oh you have inspired me with this write dear Nina I love it ... love and hugz Jayne x x
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Nina

When a star dies, all the world cries. But seriously, because of the time light takes to travel, we probably don't know about it in our lifetime. A beautiful poem, good work, for both of you. Always, Cat
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks, Jayne and Cat!

Jayne: I love you back, glad it inspired you! Cat: thank you for sharing your insights and beautiful thoughts! Yours, ~Nina

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