themoonman

Nov 24, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Decisive Aroma

Go ahead and laugh
while your pleasures are pleased
I've seen shades of your spirit
no-one else will ever see

I'm part of the bounce in your step
one of the lights that surround you
I probably need to let go
wonder if I'll be able to...

in the doorway
which way do I turn
back to the safety
or towards the unknown

Backwards, forwards,
who knows, who cares...
when the scent of our loving
is still in the air...

my eyes are rolling
to the back of my head
I want you
I need you
back inside I am led.

— themoonman, Nov 24, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Richard

Maybe the unknown will eventually turn into the comfort and security. You never get anywhere if ya don't try something new. Nice write, richard. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "If the S.W.A.T team breaks down your door, do they have to replace it later?" - "If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?"

Jo Latimer

17 years 6 months ago

I enjoyed this

There's something oddly humourous here - almost a resigned bemusement. Or perhaps that's my interpretation! Regards, Jo

prayersbyPatty

17 years 6 months ago

Richard

Interesting write. Sounds like you have a lot to think about. The unknown, change is tough, Ride it out. take care, Patty

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

Decisive

Richard, I enjoyed this one, thanks for sharing~ my favorite: "I've seen shades of your spirit that no one will ever see" _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

In appreciation...

to all that have commented on this one... I'm still not happy with it but there is still time for me to fix it... provided there is... time that is... thanks Richard

Jo Latimer

17 years 6 months ago

Hi Richard -

OK, my curiosity is piqued! Re the time thing (but I'm not nosy:)) & what you're not happy with in the poem. What is it that doesn't work for you? Perhaps someone here can help - after all, that's what this is about, isn't it? I'm happy to give it a bash. Regards, Jo

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

All right...

this is the third time trying to leave a comment on my own poem... validation aggravation... the time thingy... I am fifty... time is a huge factor for me now... especially now that I've become so aware of it... the poem... just felt my vision wasn't seen... except by me... I think you were close... thank you for your interest... Richard

leonard daranjo

17 years 6 months ago

Its a lovely piece Richard

You have a way of leading people by the hand into parts of your world which is a widely shared human experience. Your work is always so fresh. Take care ... Leonard

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Hi Leonard...

good to see you my friend.... glad you liked it.. Richard

zarul

17 years 6 months ago

HI

INTENSE emotion in here. dont have much to say EXCEPT THIS IS an adorable work of urs. HUG ZARUL

deelilah

17 years 6 months ago

Intriguing poem

Now that you've chosen the unknown, I hope it works out for you. Someday the unknown will be known too. Keep up the fresh work. I never know what surprises you might have in store. Donna

muttering_madwoman

17 years 6 months ago

sounds

as though blissfully led to a guillotine :) nice job here, R love, N

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