Flashes

today

dig under me with your bare hands
until you’ll pass the ribs you’ll lose half of your soul
the blood will spread over the knees
and within hair, emotions will be gripped

tomorrow

from sleep my new body will leak out
I’ll search to exhume you through the frost torpid phalanxes
and then we’ll drink the love upheld on the wall

— Marius Surleac, Jan 09, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Romania, ROU

Critiques

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Marius

Dig under me with your bare hands this line does not seem to go with the second until you pass the ribs confusing if the person has dug under then they are already past the ribs are they not the poem is well written but is very difficult to understand the point you are trying to make Perhaps it is just I. good to hear from you again Chrys

Marius Surleac

17 years 4 months ago

in fact...

Hi Chrys, In fact the action there continues in the future - there is a hypothesis ("until you'll pass the ribs you'll lose" - the action is not finished, there is a flash). That is a surrealist view that sends the reader back to the genesis, to Adam and Eve and the action in those first two lines is somehow pronounced within "her" eyes, woman's eyes. Cheers, Marius

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

marius

Thank you for the explanation. I appreciate it Chrys

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