A Little Birdie Knocked at My Door

The kindness that this piece radiates has really touched me in very sensitive places,I dont even know how to explain,thank you very much for this write.

unimpeachable. Endearing. And so obviously heartfelt. If I may brazenly suggest: "I ask the little birdie With wings flapping before me" if altered to "I ask the little birdie Her wings flapping before me" might avoid a nanosecond of reader confusion. The line "You sure you want these chips" needs, I think, a question mark at its end. "Little birdie chicks does feed": If I understand this line, a change of does to do would take the wrench out'v it. Thanx much, Chuck PS: There is, I fear, a teensy bit more, but I don't want to overstay my welcome.

Here goes: --- "Can you please share your chips?" A presumed technicality often ignored by writers, even many considered to be otherwise excellent at their craft, is: A polite request takes a period at its end, not a question mark. So, since you've not employed periods in this piece, in Can you please share your chips, you'd have, of course, no ending punct at all. Otherwise there's a bit of confusion injected, as in, is the question really Are you able to share your chips, which would, naturally, take a question mark? Or simply the courteously polite will you/would you? --- "I have birdseeds in my purse" Usually bird seed (I'm unable to locate bird seed as one word) doesn't need an ending s to make it plural. The plural's understood. --- "I think is more nutritious" I'd prefer "That I think more nutritious" --- "stretched out hands" needs a hyphen, as in "stretched-out hands" --- "High above the trees Among the oaks and pines Little birdie chicks do feed" The "High ... pines" being a continuation of the sentence in the stanza prior, a semicolon'd serve to separate, make a smoother shift to the follow-on last line "Little birdie chicks do feed" as in "High above the trees Among the oaks and pines; Little birdie chicks do feed" --- Hope you find this comment useful. Yours again, Chuck

Very uplifting for the spirit. A fine read. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

this is wonderful!! It brought a little light into my other wise gloomy day. thanks for that!! Eddie

My heart just eased. Wonderful poem. Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

This is a lovely poem. It made me smile, and so did all the comments it generated. I am confused on the line: you may make them sick. Will the chips make the bird sick or will the bird make the chips sick? Yours, Deelilah Congratulations on going back to school.

The way you express a giving spirit not only to offer to help "someone" in need, but to do it in a way by going one better, which is the right way, without causing more harm to the ones in need the most. How genuine. This definately is a good lesson for children to learn. Ps. - I too like the poem at the bottom of your signature from Leonard. I can tell you have touched his heart. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Your comment about the baby being coerced with froot loops was hysterical! Such a warming write. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication And silent replies that swirl invitation Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea A grim intimation of what is to be" - Pink Floyd

alive my grandmother used to write the most wonderful, lively poetry. You capture that essence here to a T. And whatever the metaphor is I wish I had birdseed in my pocket. Mark W.