Race_9togo

Jan 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

At The Instant Of Positive Time (Part I of Time's Instances)

wreathed in positives of time I dream
on old cold mountaintop so bleak
where silver stars wink gathering at its peak
and quiet rush of forest whispers from
unseen valleys far below my feet.

the positive of time I stand within
cuts the mountaintop to mirrored shine
and from inside the pentacle’s climb
vast circles of protection rise from
deep within the mountain’s pulsing heart.

my positive of time has come
I lift my eyes to sacred images sublime
arms wide to catch the vast ascension
of moon and stars and ritual divine
with mind kissed breathless from all sin
I know that all is ready
for the ceremony to begin...

— Race_9togo, Jan 11, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Critiques

Proprietress o…

17 years 5 months ago

Jim,

what a beauty this piece is! you paint a vivid landscape, I could see it clearly. the last line creates a suspense that left me wanting more... tell me, will there be a sequel? your Proprietress

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Proprietess,

It was never my intention to do a sequel. After reading your comments, It is now. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Jim, marvelous

I love not only the imagery in this write, but also the rhythm and the rhyme pattern. I also adore the line "with mind kissed breathless from all sin". THAT is one awesome line dude! Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water."

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Rett

I built the poem around that line! Dreamed it, Glad you liked it. Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Jim

this poem is really good. it was smooth from the beginning to the end. the title is unique and i love the message it radiates especially on mountaintops where moons and stars ascension is such a divine spiritualness. i love the theme the instant of positive is what i search for as i am negatively charged often. the poem speaks to my heart for all the positives that the world has. the flow in logic is awesome, i dream, i stand within, and my time has come. i am there in your positive. Great write. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

I am delighted

by your enjoyment! If I made you feel that way, then I know I did it right! Thanks Barbara Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Kelsey

I shall try! Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Janice Pearce

17 years 5 months ago

At The Instant of Positive Time

Jim, I can't pick out a favorite line because I loved them all. Nicely written, you brought me there! _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thank you Janice

I guess Polyhymnia slapped me upside the head the night I wrote it! Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Jinxed

17 years 5 months ago

that really was a great

that really was a great poem. great imagery, flow and great choice of particular words that painted the scene beautifully. my only query regards whether there was meant to be rhymes, as i could see a rhyming pattern form in the first stanza, disappears in the second and sort of starts again in the final stanza, which is a different pattern to that found in teh first. sorry to waffle on. the poem in itself was brilliant! kudos to you mate.

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks my friend

I wasn't really conscious of whether or not it rhymed! I was more interested in the cadence and rhythm, and the imagery. To be honest, I find rhyming pretty difficult, something that I am working on to improve. yes, I wanted the last stanza to be a little different in flow and rhythm because I wanted to accentuate the feeling of immediacy, of the actions happening right now. I'm glad that you liked it so much! Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

easylife_2

17 years 5 months ago

JIm

You gave me shaky knees,what with the very vivid imagery and the urgency in the concluding stanza.Thank you for this one.

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

you're most welcome easy

I put part II out there now as well, but I don't this its as good as this. Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Debra Bryant

17 years 4 months ago

Jim,

Beautiful, vivid images! My favorite line...deep within the mountains pulsing heart. I saw part three in stream, but I wanted to start at the beginning so I havn't read it yet...now I can't wait! Debbie

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks Debbie

Happy that you enjoyed it so much! It'll be interesting to see your reaction to the others. Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

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