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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Mar 03, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Moonbeam

Moonbeam

Shadows move across the moon
Birds fly in the night
Passing through the universe
Looking for friends in flight

The sun set hours ago
Nature’s species waved their wings
Passed the reddish globe
That burned the evening skies

Before the moonbeam made its
Brightest entrance
Fireflies mated above the trees
Under a gibbous light

The night critters sing lullabies
To those sleeping beneath
Their windowsill
Unaware of the moonbeam

— Barbara Writes, Mar 03, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

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Critiques

yenti

yenti

17 years 3 months ago

Moonbeams

Hi there Barbara, quite a good little piece of yours here , it seemed to cut short at the end as if waiting for another stanza. A couple of small things to attend to:- Sunset needs to be split as Sun Set Before the moonbeams made it's (singular) I think, their (Plural) Brightest entrance Hey me saying things about the way things are that makes a change, might get power crazy, ok I will take another tablet it will quieten me down some. You take care out there, Yours Ian.T
docmaverick

docmaverick

17 years 3 months ago

Barbera....

...Ian's correct, there were a few technical errors that need your attention...and, as always, the imagery you provide could almost make the blind to see...now; having said all that, I have to tell you that this one didn't flow as a usual, "Barbera Write" piece of work. I re-read it several times, but thought to myself that, it needed the "effortless flow" that's comparable to the flight of the birds, that you describe. Other than what I've mentioned...I still enjoyed the imagery, I think it's basically a technical issue...causing it to be a bit of a tough read. Kinda reminds me of a poor slab of ribs that I got once. LOL ! Take my comments with a grain of salt,#{:>{)}@=== docmaverick.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Ian

I appreciate the corrections I'm writing to relieve stress. the ending was kind of on purpose. i wanted to leave the reader with a image of sleeping people. strange i know. I may add more later, but right now I'm too tired. taking all suggestion as treasures. Lol Docmaverick, I made the changes. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
L

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Barbara

I loved it. Beautiful write about the moon. I see you have put a bit of your moonbeam glow into this. Just lovely. Lyz XX
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks glad you like

~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

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