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ID
Ink Dragon
Mar 25, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

deleted


I’m in the process of submitting poems to magazines and therefore deleting them. They may be up again later.
— Ink Dragon, Mar 25, 2009
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Critiques

faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years 2 months ago

Nina, I loved this, very

Nina, I loved this, very emotive! Lovely language and imagery! if it was mine I'd change 'morning' for 'mourning' but nothing else! ( my refound confidence appears to be rubbing off in my comments, hope this is ok? :) much love b x ps. just read your collage bit after reading poem a second time, (even better on second read btw) and perhaps my suggestion not applicable, if it's bit from a song you probably don't want to mess with it, just loved the morning/mourning play and felt it fitted with the theme :) x
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Beki,

what a wonderful play (morning/mourning), but you´re right, I cannot change this line. As it is your idea, why not use it in one of your own pieces? Yours, ~Nina
A

Aureo

17 years 2 months ago

Ah...but the question is?

Dear Ink Dragon (Nina), Thank you for your approach to the subject of Lucifer, I have written much about my demons and those of others, but alas I know that they all hark from one. So as "the son of dawn" fell did we not fall with him? And was it a twist of fate or did some law we break? Having met your poem perhaps I will find the courage to write on the subject. Kristeta P.S. I have read many of your poems and find again a kindred soul.
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Dear Kristeta,

I used "twist of fate" because I had "Paradise lost" on my mind. The fallen angels were trying to overthrow God and they wanted to reign in heaven. So, from their perspective, it must have been a twist of fate when God and his faithful angels defeated them. If you love the angels vs. demons theme, you may want to read some other poems on this site as well, Kambate Spike´s latest, for instance, or some of tink´s work. Yours, ~Nina P.S. I have read some of your poems and admire your talent, so "kindred soul" is quite a compliment. Thanks.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Nina

Just read this, catching up from a busy 2 weeks I enjoyed this immensely. I've always thought the devil needs at least a modicum of pity from us, for what he has become! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Jim!

Been wondering where you had gone! I have loads to catch up on myself, as I was down with the flu during the second week of March, and have been very busy this week. Thanks for the read and your interesting comment. Pitying the devil... The question is: Is he really desperate for all he´s lost or is he just faking it? I have no idea! Yours, ~Nina
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Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Wow, "sheer brilliance"!

Thanks, Nokros! Knowing what a great weaver of words you are yourself, I appreciate your approval of this piece a lot! Yours, ~Nina
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Danke schön, liebe Kelsey!

Collage technique is fun, and it can lead to pretty impressive results, as everyone can see in T.S. Eliot´s work. Yours, ~Nina P.S. My favourite lines by T.S.Eliot: Do I dare Disturb the universe In a minute there is time For decisions and revisions Which a minute will reverse
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 2 months ago

Nina

Glad I decided to catch up on poetry, so I read just one of yours and I really enjoyed this one..... This is how I would have dealt with the subject, Yea, If I only had a brain that worked at all times, not just sometimes. But this is not about me. Oh, this is sooo good, wish I could give you six stars for brilliant, you will have to settle for 5 wowsers. Love ya, Patty throws rainbows..
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Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Patty,

thanks a lot for the awesome comment! What a nice surprise! Yours, ~Nina P.S. Sh! My brain tends to shut down sometimes, too, so don´t fret!
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

Nina...

an excellent write! enjoyed it very much, then I read the comments and read it again... and liked it even more... I, like Jim, felt you were going for a bit of feelings of sorry for the fallen one... I thought it was very good! Richard
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Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks, Richard,

actually, I was not necessarily aiming for pity, my reasoning was more like: Angels have no reason to cry, you know, I think the fallen angel only realizes what he has lost after the fall... Yours, ~Nina
SJ

Shonna James

17 years 2 months ago

"He never used to cry before his fall"

I have a definite "fetish" with angels, so this and all words about them draw me in. I wish had your graceful pen to them justice. My ex wasn't so fond of my slight obsession with the heavenly creatures and I had to constantly remind him (and myself) that I filled our home with them because I lived with the devil, this may sound harsh but he is my ex for a reason. And I can ever so slightly pity "The fallen angel". Love this poem, especially your last line - confirms for me that he is truly fallen. xxsjxx
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks, Shonna,

and glad to learn that you liked it. Yes, I am kind of fond of that last line, too, and you understood it perfectly. Yours, ~Nina P.S. Do we not always "ex" people for a reason? *smiles*
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 2 months ago

Nina, what a beauty.

I have read this several times and the atmosphere you create is enthralling. there is so much loneliness, so much hurt and despair in this poem, that it pains me to read it. you have created a tidal wave of tragic beauty. your Proprietress
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Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

My dear Kata,

"a tidal wave of tragic beauty" wow! What a comment! And it all came from one of my clumsy old pieces... Thanks, ~Nina
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

The fallen angel

Very powerful indeed, don't know how I missed this posted in March, guess there are always a few that slip by! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Janice,

I often wonder how I managed to miss a write the first time around, too, so no worries. Thank you for the read and the comment, much appreciated! Yours, ~Nina

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