Neverwas

Jayyyyne...this is my favourite so far! I liked it enough to read it a bunch of times :) awesome work! Im humbled in your mighty presence hehe <3

demon tormented souls along the road i have travelled JayC. Your friend BossCombat is right this is very much the best piece of yours i have read. It builds up to become almost frenetic (almost a rant) at the end and there is clearly much behind the words that is deliberately half hidden. Reminds me a little of one of Yeat's early poems (should appeal to the Irish blood in you!) "The Sad Shepherd": "There was a man whom Sorrow named his Friend, And he, of his high comrade Sorrow dreaming, Went walking with slow steps along the gleaming And humming Sands, where windy surges wend: And he called loudly to the stars to bend From their pale thrones and comfort him, but they Among themselves laugh on and sing alway: And then the man whom Sorrow named his friend Cried out, Dim sea, hear my most piteous story.! The sea Swept on and cried her old cry still, Rolling along in dreams from hill to hill. He fled the persecution of her glory And, in a far-off, gentle valley stopping, Cried all his story to the dewdrops glistening. But naught they heard, for they are always listening, The dewdrops, for the sound of their own dropping. And then the man whom Sorrow named his friend Sought once again the shore, and found a shell, And thought, I will my heavy story tell Till my own words, re-echoing, shall send Their sadness through a hollow, pearly heart; And my own tale again for me shall sing, And my own whispering words be comforting, And lo! my ancient burden may depart. Then he sang softly nigh the pearly rim; But the sad dweller by the sea-ways lone Changed all he sang to inarticulate moan Among her wildering whirls, forgetting him. all the best Keith PS Near the end it should be "sees" rather than "see's"

Really glad I visited & had a read, enjoyed this, many lines that really moved me loved the morphing nature it takes on, slowy seems to transform the sentiment. Shall try to make time to read more. cheers Anni "Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, and even the phrase, "each other" doesn't make any sense."

wow, I don't know what to say about this one. I would hate to be the "she" whom you have depicted here. A pitiful soul indeed. My favorite lines come at the end: Sorrow, in shadow forever miming life, But forgotten So is as neverwas Neverwas... a fascinating word! I can see how very much how you have grown as a poet. You are fantastic!!! Love, Cat