Apathy

Loved it ... And i hear you ... Its the same story for nearly every place on the planet .. Unfortunatly it is a story repeated endlessly the world over Sincerely JayC

First off, as always- I love it! There is far too much apathy in this world, insensitive people and stupid stuff. The lonely feel of it is heartbreaking, the imagery is so powerful. Seren's right, this is a story known in every corner of our planet and it's a shame. The last stanza just resonates, love the ending. It's a line that does echo, it stciks with you...amazing! I have yet to find a piece of yours I dislike! Peace and Love Katie

so what do we do with the people that can't fend for themselves? like a friend said to me when i asked about his heart condition." i'm on disability and welfare, do you think i will get a heart transplant?" he was dead two yrs. ago last wk. life is life......beauty is a matter of perspective. much the same as the rest of life. respectfully, gee

I like you feel for thease people ,so much could be done to help them if only enough people cared . loved your poem ,regards Irene

Of course when you do build something as elegantly as this the smallest flaws stand out. You lose your meter in a couple of places where there could be an easy fix, or not so easy. Catchy phrases that sound benign Catchy phrase that sounds benign or Its catchy phrases sound benign The hopelessly muddled plight Hopeless is the muddled plight and the next few lines don't quite run together sense wise. A blight on fight? Fight of screaming at? Like a putrid creeping blight on the never ending fight of screaming at the neon sky and wondering why you even try! I think the 3rd verses non-rhyming last line is very strong and that form could work throughout the poem. Oh, did I mention I loved this piece and was moved by it? cheers, Jess Forever unwrapping the eternal present.

Rett, Loving It! As an Artist you painted the picture very well. As many others do, I have a story that chaps my butt, dealing with "one of those" as the one you encountered at your cafe. Only my homeless guy came into a clinic for methadome treatment. I was called to counsel and assist in getting him off the street. Mr. "Niceman" told me that he panhandle at the least 1,ooo.oo (one thousand dollars) every WEEK and he would be a fool to come off the street. I can't repeat what i said, it wasn't very professional. It's awful! But, what can you do? Many of them want and need the help. Radar Alert: If he is ragged, unkept and dirty with $200.00 dollar Tennis shoes on; RUN! Great write my friend

You make highly repetitive rhyming forms like this one seem effortless although i think i disagree with Jess about the impact of the absence of rhyme in the last two lines of the third verse. That might have worked in the last verse, for example (but see my commnt later on), where one wanted to perhaps reach a forceful jarred conclusion. Although you know that i personally love to use strong rhyming verse (obviously "Come play this old piano" is an example) however my own personal view on this one is that it ends up coming out as a fast flowing rant and the images and thoughts get blurred. For me thats a shame because they are very powerful and i felt the whole poem needed to read slower and with more...stop off and listen/think points. This might have actually been achieveable by different line lengths and abandoning the rhyme scheme more often rather than just the once. Anyway, just my thoughts on how it came across to me. Apathy is of course something lodged into the core of society and you express your justifyable anger at it very forcefully and effectively my friend. BW Keith

I love the begging...i think i read it like three times!Well anywhoo its really good!lol!!:D Peace; ANC

Hey hey, just had to come back and say congrats on spotlight again Rett!!!!! Really loved this piece, my mom loved it too when she read it!!!!!!! Peace n love Katie

I understood every word. I live in a town just like that and I don't go out after dark unless I truely have to. You write some of the most nicest written poems on the site. I enjoy reading your poems. Congrats for making it into the spotlight. Take care of you and your poetry!! Sincerely, Pixee

remember the read I do and Steinbeck some said today Jack K would have a hard go sometimes the grit gets in your hands and even your dimes scratching the true on american skies all what you've written is true here I love this poem in its view yet Im finding the voice of Weirdelf and Professor speaking to me too Im thinking of an ice cream cone stacked with flavours Hey I know think of your rhymne like ice cream chocolate chocolate chocolate its cool that youve worked so hard to get them in line but a different flavour here and there in alignment ... vanilla vanill vanill chocolate strawberry strawberry strawberry vanilla chocolate chocolate chocolate strawberry hmm is this making any damn sense I want to try to help critique i travelled to the lake today to see if i could find a way to view the angle of the bay in words poetic i could say i travelled to the lake today to see if i could find a way the view the angle spendid wide in words poetic spoke with pride and am I making sense somehow to steer my thoughts like plying bow or is it complicated hard im not the wily witty bard as Rhett it seems! im terrible at this anyway Rhett this is one of the few times Ive tried to be constructive hope it helps but I still love your poem either way and as with everyone Five stars sir!!

just wanted to congraulate you on the spotlight, rett!

I like your revise much sir! and the life of towns and great cities goes on I actually read THE LIFE AND DEATH OF AMERICAN CITIES by that woman author long ago I was not very old half of what I am now Great poem

Again you have pointed your king observation at a thing that everyone feels, but lays it aside. (Apathy) I especially enjoyed this stanza: "The hopelessly muddled plight of staring eyes without sight. Like a putrid creeping blight on the never ending fight of screaming at the neon sky and wondering why you even try!" that's the point, that we all give up, because we feel we are by ourselves in the fight. excellent piece of writing Bravo!!! thanks, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!

this was a raw and emotional piece even though it showed a bleek picture of urban decay it turll exibited pasion for the art and compssion for those chained by circumstance to this plight of hopelessness thank u for a great piece

Atwood is at it still I actually bought her books and will when I scrounge up some cash Kerouack and that other crazy wrote "And the Hippos were boiled in their tanks" from some news clipping about a circus fire or zoo fire back in the forties I am so far from where I want to be and yet Im also this old I so envy the young people who can write extremely well and disciplined it took me this long to walk away from my decayed mind set thinking just in time to arrive somewhat matured in this grand millenium and If I dont get to what I think is even greater poetry I still can be here on Neo which I find most enjoyable and read your poems from yore and the modern writes this is so much more comfortable then the library and I can have a coffee too while persuing the modern "greats" thank you sir

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