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press
press
Jun 22, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THE MINUTES

THE MINUTE 

Minutes
Factions of seconds
Your cocoon
of safety
Is more than and ending

Buying  rightful ’’
In a church song
Selling souls to bad
For evil  ,  blood is called 

Safety
Morality
Are factions
Changing

A balance
Of convictions 
Is a faction 
Unseen
Ending
— press, Jun 22, 2009

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

Loved every minute of it!

I loved your use of language, thought it much the thing I like to do, twisting words so that they mean what I want them to. I think your intent with the title was to give the feel of a meeting of some kind. Everything was great, except for the roughness of rythym, but that may have been intentional too. Geezer.
press

press

16 years 11 months ago

THE MINUTE RE

Hey big G what's up with you ? all good I hope how is your poetry coming . Do you want to hear something funny [ I MEAN THIS BLEW MY MIND ] . OK as more poets are showing me love by reading my poetry . One word keeps repeating in 7 out 10 comments . The words are roughness of rhythm . So Geezer , I thought about it [ because truthfully god is sending me this comment though the other poets]. So G I am hearing loud and clear . And this is the funny part of it all. This is how I talk , with tough statements , raw words! example If someone said to me ? I couldn't do it , I would say [ WHY] one word. If someone asked me for help , in one word I would say [YES OR NO ] . Now is this my style Geezer. And dose god want me to see this style in me to refine it . My best friend for thirty years always said ? Press you need to learn how to make small talk So G I will think about it Love to U Press
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 11 months ago

Look at you...

I think you did a great job with this one Press... one suggestion Is more than and ending... did you mean "an" ending? if not, then perhaps give "and ending" its own line, causing the reader to pause... merely a suggestion... enjoyed this one very much! I don't think all of the single words need caps, but, it doesn't hurt the read. Richard
press

press

16 years 11 months ago

Hey RICHARD

hey hey hey Rich realty to laugh .I went out and brought a big broom to clean up my poetry those little crumbs I always seem to leave behind .[smile]. So how was your fathers day good I hope and how are you doing Love to U Press

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