my shadows lusting gleams

Seren... This is delicious! I want more!!! Raven

Your husband was right... very good... loved the final line!

This is tussling poem. It describes an apparently foreplayless sex (could be that we are entering the scene somewhat after play got underway), full of rush: this shadow walks to lean, scented and excited feeling feeding in it teams, ravished sense is busting ached blessings torqued ignite And the poem tussles in more ways than one. It is as if the rhyme is being, well..., ok, somewhat fucked away. But like a habit's sex is still here and there, in gasps. Now lets look closer: this shadow walks to lean, [This line is quite subtle in the torquing but great] scented and excited [What scent? Will any do? Is there some way of conveying excitement in a none standard fashion?] feeling feeding in it teams, [This is such an effective, and unusual, way to signal urgency] Your move to experiment with words is on display. But, like many things in the midst of change, there is confusion between the new style and the previous; something so normal as to have a name: transition. You have been having a long love affair with the symbols of a perfect, and old fashion, romance. Unsullied winged unicorns and fairy dust: "Find me gently, know me wholly, holy, holy." If there is a problem with such a dream, it is that one cannot be known, wholly or holy, without the telling of story. The partner does not initially know the dream without the telling, and it will be his dream, likely, only by adoption. So, it is a dream laden with control. And you, the dreamer, cannot find perfection in the wingless profane dust of today, only a finger's grasp away, while waiting for an endlessly unprepared perfection to carry you into dreams of flight. And as you move to find beauty in the more mundane, there is conflict between that old wish for control and the new partial surrender. So, that transition is here in quantity, dueling, like the bodies soaking one another. There is a jumble in the poem, that speaks both to the transition and to the passion unfolding, for their is a connection between the these apparently different things. Five stars for the gutsy work. Brian

WOW Jayne! Where has all this stuff been????!! Hot indeed. "Ecstasy trapped the banging, drowned out screams of now!" Immediate, lusty and very sexual. Very bold and brave. Move over Lady Chatterley's Lover! Cheers! Boni

thats fuckin awesome....iunno wether to be turned on...or entertained ...or enticed ...one of the 3 sound good XD...or all hahaha but yeh i fuckin love it...its awesome :P...different haha ...tottally different to ur style but never the less..i fuckin love :P

Heyyyyy Finally my phone works! This is a different write for u But some of your best stuff!! Ecstacy trapped the banging....you saucy minx. 5 stars and 2 thumbs up Loved it <3 "congrats on spotlight "

Hey, it's a hot hot summer's day into night. and if we ain't got it going on, it's still a great read indeed, eh? (And I thought it was hot flashes!) Is there anything so wickedly good as lusty poet? ~A "There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." Anais Nin

Sensual, erotic and very tasteful. You have a special delicate touch that draws the reader in. Your spell intices the senses, are you sure you're not a witch? Congratulations on making the spot light, this poem deserves it! Love, Cat

I must admit yours is the first I actually took interest in reading since I joined the site recently. Very well and very lovely.

Since I wrote verses about passion, I had to contrast mine with yours, and I bow to the master. Where I simply did a rather mechanical play by play, you used images that put the magic in the moment: ached blessing torqued... silk dripped nights... no reason in the knowing... I could go on but I would be simply copying every line. I am a little obtuse when it comes to such images so I had to read the poem several times to get the meaning of them all, but the "shadow walks to lean" has got me stumped. The only thing I could come up with was an erection. Thanks for posting. And I echo the previous congratulations.

Woooohooooo !!! I snuck on to Neo even though I have visitors for the weekdnd, so can't stay long... & here you are in SPOTLIGHT!!!!!! YAY!!! Fantastic, had to happen you've been putting in so much dear Jayne Chloe. So happy for you. I can see you put in a lot here, I'm so glad it paid off for you, enjoy spotlight honey xxx~ Anni ~~~ "Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond o

Seren, I read the poem and it is excellent. I read all the comments, and they are right. Very nicely done..............wcw

passion is here and a good write solid adventurous with lots of Wow!! a good read on a fine summer day I've had saw a beaver pond with lilies ate some wild low bush blue berries heard the Ciccadia call in the heat (finally a real summer day 30o celcious) drove a trail on mountian bike in woods and got bit on ear with horseflie ah the woods and now the poem to end the day thank You Seren!!!!!

A very solid write about the Little Death. I'll leave it like that. Thanks for writing, Respectfully yours, Espen