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And Nothing Shall Be Hidden

And Nothing Shall Be Hidden.... And death is like a woman who stands before her lover and lets her body {like a long silk dress} fall slowly to the floor....
— Diatom Shells, Aug 03, 2009

Critiques

DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

and nothing shall be hidden

and death is like a woman who stands before her lover and lets her body {like a long silk dress} fall slowly to the floor.... - diatom shells
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

May I suggest, copying to "Notepad", then recopy from notepad to

That's a powerful bit of writing there, it would be good to post it to the public properly... May I suggest, copying to "Notepad", then recopy from notepad to the Neo "Submit a poem" (on right up here under "Navigation"), let me know if you are still having trouble, I'm sure we can sort it, just try different things... Are you using PC or Mac? Lets get this happening before I comment properly... Cheers Anni Cheers Anni~ ` "Those who dwell among the beauties & mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life" ~ Rachel Carson Writer/conservationist
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

argh

im using a mobile phone so it may not work with my phone
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Diatom Shells,

clever little piece you shared here! Loved the visualness of the "long silk dress" part. Yours, ~Nina
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Hello

I love the imagery! Very very nice. Always, Cat
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

aah

thank u ink dragon and cat I am but a lowly poetess young and nieve ad appreciate your kind comments. I wished my 1st poem had worked its one of my faves if u have time look for it tomorrow its called "some thoughts on becoming a woman" -photons bouncing off diatom shells
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

This is an amazing write.

This is an amazing write. An absolutely perfect poem... on so so many levels. Thank you. It has been said Nature abhors a vacuum; should I greet my Lover, Death.. young poets such as yourself....... ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

sure

yes u may greet us as such... im so glad u liked it and perfect is overstatement I thank u humbly -diaom shells
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

ah

but this piece was plagarized from notepad I will b getting a letter in the mail from his lawyer real soon. thank u chuck its nice to meet u -diatom shells blushing
Seren

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

WoW this is am amazing piece

WoW this is am amazing piece of poetry ... so glad you shared this with us ... regards Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

hello jayne

thank u for reading it, the truth is I was never taught to share as a child so this is just a taste I guess I will have to learn for my own benefit -diatom shells p.s. I read some of ur stuff and its good! i will set time aside so I can comment properly
M

Marie-I-Be

16 years 10 months ago

lovely intrigue

Death as an unveiling. You do have a way with words and concepts. You've brought a sense of odd beauty and grace to an otherwise dark event. I look forward to seeing more of your style.
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

yes

dealing with death and grief is hard but I like to look at her in a different light or as u put it dark. thank u for understanding a little deeper -diatom shells
greeneyes

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

great work

visualy stunning powerful choice of words i loved it
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

im glad

im glad u liked it I try to b visually stunning lol...-diatom shells singing along with roxanne
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 9 months ago

heres the poem

I will never get used to my new body, its savage softness, the way it spills sweetly here and there, the way my shoulders are enough to break my heart. the long low alto of my thighs and the soprano of my neck do not belong to me. my noise is gone and now there is melody, but I do not want it. god led me out of the desert into a land overflowing with milk and honey. I brim, and I spill sweetly and I want the desert. do you remember? it is lean and golden and severe, and the heat trembles around your edges like wild lace. do you remember? you were lean and golden and severe and you weren't a woman yet and that meant that your muscles crouched like a panthers under skin that didn't beg to be bitten, to be paved with hands. your were clear and bright and beautiful as a bone-snap. remember when you were inside your own garden, before you were the gatekeeper, saying, yes, you may enter, please come in.
D

Dalton

16 years ago

Diatom shells

so much beauty in so few words. I have read this a few times without commenting. john

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