Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Hunger

Hunger


tangerine dreams
awaken me

your lips on mine
your eyes full of smoke
the fire within
never
 dies down

we make love
in the Light















— Kailashana, Aug 03, 2009

Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Anna,

this is achingly beautiful, so full of longing. You have touched me deeply with this piece. Yours, ~Nina
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Ecstatic being IS touching

Ecstatic being IS touching deeply and wanting to share THAT with another Being of Ecstasy... ;-) ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
Tam the Chanter

Tam the Chanter

16 years 10 months ago

hunger

It's a glorious thing to access the ecstatic being who IS the beloved. This is a real sizzler, well done my girl. Love Ian
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

yesireeeeeeeeee Ian,

yesireeeeeeeeee Ian, however, it doesn't stop me from wanting *Him* in the flesh... sort of like *reach out and touch someone*... ;-) Love Anna "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
S

Sin

16 years 10 months ago

Hunger

You have filled these very few lines with a full impact of emotion, sultry and evokative. Nice pen!
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you Sin, (kinda funny

Thank you Sin, (kinda funny to say that & with that spelling ;-) I visited you on your first poem. I think I'm gonna like your poetry. Us Sin sisters gotta stick together... ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
2Q

2 Quills

16 years 10 months ago

A hell of a thing indeed.

A hell of a thing indeed. It is good to see people like you who wish to share these things with us here as I concur the compliments of thee others. Corey (2Quills)
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

I see a beautiful new

I see a beautiful new generation of poets, who not only are filled with ecstatic being but fearlessly revel in it. ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

lover of few lines

I am always amazed how much someone can say in such few words I love it!-diatom shells waving the heat in swirls around her
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

And you my dear, have made

And you my dear, have made quite an entrance with your poem. Few words indeed! Could we be talking about the same Lover? ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 10 months ago

well

we may be! I am just a wee one though. I amaze myself sometimes lol. -diatom shells
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 10 months ago

Tangerine so bitter sweet

The taste of tangerine, its colour, its sound, its evocation of bitter-sweet is close to ecstatic and your lips on mine as you awake is terrific presence. Anna this is close. Ann of Norway
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Yes, it is close, Ann.

Yes, it is close, Ann. Thank you for noticing. Love, Anna "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.