Wafi

Aug 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Love Suicide

It is not possible
For me
To hate you!
But,
It is possible
That I bury
The corpse of your love
In my heart's graveyard
With
My uncountable
Desires--
Unfulfilled;
Committing
Love suicide...

— Wafi, Aug 11, 2009

Critiques

Darby Cain

16 years 10 months ago

nice

nice job with this. i liked it

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks A Lot Friend

Thanks a lot friend, for reading and commenting. So glad you liked it. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Sourav

16 years 10 months ago

I liked the poem. Language is also good. It's very much free flowing and didn't find anything like forced stuff! Only thing I would like to say that if you would have written one more stanza that would be little better. Though this is just my personal opinion. Overall it's a nice work!

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Thank You So Much Sourav

Thank you so much Sourav, for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts a lot. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

greeneyes

16 years 10 months ago

powerful

Your words are very powerful.Good job!

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks A Lot My Friend.

Thanks a lot my friend. Your comments are always appreciated... Glad you read and commented on it. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Kenneth Sharp

16 years 10 months ago

Succinctly expressive.My

Succinctly expressive. My favorite lines: "That I bury The corpse of your love In my heart’s graveyard"

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Thank You So Much My Friend

Thank you so much my friend, for reading and commenting. So glad it got your attention. Those are my favorite lines too... Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Candlewitch

16 years 10 months ago

Wafi

The title is an attention grabber. I have to admit that at first I was a little bit worried about you, but as I read the poem I understood. A powerful piece, and I'm glad I read it. My favorite lines are the same as Kenneth's. Always, Cat

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

You Made Me Smile!

Thanks a lot Cat, my friend, for reading and commenting. So glad you liked it. I appreciate your thoughts a lot. Your comment left a sweet smile on my lips.... Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

Suicide

Wafi, The title I felt a little scary, like Cat said language use good [except capitilization at start of every line not necessary] Theme very good! _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks A Lot Janice

Thanks a lot Janice for reading and commenting. Your thoughts are always appreciated here. I like the capitalization, I think it makes the poem look neat ;) Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

faerybeki

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Wafi, I enjoyed this

Hi Wafi, I enjoyed this write (although I do wonder about the title, maybe you need to put the 'love' in there too? just a thought) The piece itself is great, such levels of meaning and some wonderful imagery. I sense a bit of frustration, I think ;). Great write Wafi, got me thinking and I appreciate that, much love Beki xx

Wafi

16 years 10 months ago

Manena Beki

Thanks a lot Beki, for reading and commenting. I liked your suggestion. Apperciate your thoughts a lot. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

So Glad To See You, Janice

So glad to see you Janice, my loving friend. Hope you are doing well. Thanks a lot for the sweet comment, always appreciated my friend. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

pleiades

16 years 9 months ago

sometimes so much more is

sometimes so much more is said with a paucity of words...that's what you've done here. i really like that you have conveyed strong emotion with a few, well chosen and well placed words. i also like the structure; this short verse seems to fall down the page... like tears. cheers, p. p.s...great title too!

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks A Lot Friend

Thanks a lot friend, for reading and making such a nice comment. I liked it. Looking forward to reading your work soon... Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Wafi

Powerful but beautiful. Great words of meaning, set out just right and I enjoyed this. Love the title. Thanks for sharing. Love Lyz. XX

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks A Lot Lyz.

Thanks a lot Lyz, for taking the time to read and comment. So glad you liked it, my friend. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Buried love

Hi Wafi. What a great use of words, simply beautiful. loved the ending. { committing love suicide.] a very well written piece. Mantiscepter

mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Buried love

Hi Wafi. What a great use of words, simply beautiful. loved the ending. { committing love suicide.] a very well written piece. Mantiscepter

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks A Lot Mantiscepter

Thanks a lot Mantiscepter, for taking the time to read and comment. My pleasure you liked it. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Darya

16 years 9 months ago

Wafi,I like this so much

Wafi, I like this so much great and meaningful ........ simple and honest darya

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks A Lot Darya

Thanks a lot Darya, for reading and commenting. So glad you liked it. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

chumfin

16 years 2 months ago

your thoughts are very deep.!!!!

your use of words is very phenomenal, i love the whole lines used, this poem is very deep, am glad i have the honor of reading your works. chumfin

Wafi

16 years 2 months ago

So Glad Dear Chumfin :)

So glad, dear Chumfin. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Thanks for your great comments on my work. I so appreciate your thoughts. Sincerely, Wafi "To love too much has been the only art I used!" ~Lord Byron~

Dalton

16 years 1 month ago

Wafi

you show us in your words what we should all be doing. john

esperanza

16 years ago

awesome!

your use of the words in this poem were heart warming, you make me melt! love esperanza xoxo

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