HERE LIES A LONGING

HERE LIES A LONGING

The feigned love is dead -it was never alive but the flickeringpromise of itlit an insurgency, an emergency against timeinside. The hollowed halls of selfecho cavernously from within -the deeper recesseswhere even Psyche's grasping tentaclescannot begin to choke out the significance. Here lies a longing - eroding the essence of joya chasmic chaos - primordial and vast,
seeking the inner realm to destroy
the tenuous hope of love, to outlast. BjR 13 August '09

— Bonitaj, Aug 13, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Boni,

I can't help feeling that your writing is improving with every piece. There is only one line here that tripped me up a bit: where even the psyche’s grasping tentacles maybe lose the "the" in front of psyche? Otherwise, an awesome write. I marvel at the synchronicity we seem to have reached, I am working on a poem that contains these lines: for I am needy, in need of your eroded love I've said it elsewhere that I sometimes feel like my subconscious is leaking... Yours, ~Nina P.S. cavernously?

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

Creative leak perhaps...

or is it the season for unrequited love? THank you for stopping by. I sometimes feel sorely neglected on the empty pages when no one - least of all, anyone of your stature... comes by> :( Somehow you make up for it with your generous comments. But seriously - I think we should never get to a point of wanting to please "the other" to the degree that we offer up on genuine, exacting criticism - if that makes sense. That way a 5 star remains a 5 star!!! and "good" in the critic's eye can be esteemed "great", in our own! Tschuess Boni

raskin

16 years 10 months ago

myth

Using cupids mythology, a longing. I like the description of this longing eroding the essence of joy. This is good it made me think, at first I glanced through and noticed Psyche capitalized so I looked up the cupid myth again. I'm not sure if that was the intent but I liked it. I like the use of mythology in poems. The description here of longing is good how it consumes. Touched on some stuff for me. raskin

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Raskin!

now you've set me off... I hadn't actually intended to use Psyche as in the mythology. (cf. Nina's comment made me edit 'the psyche' small letters, out) If it's panned out for you like that, it's fine as its reaching a broader audience than I could've hoped for! The genesis of this poem lies within. I have experienced it and I see it in a lot of females particularly with this psychopathology. A very personalized longing - which indeed, whittles away at life's joy. It fits into the deficit model of ego development and will always exist, leaving them with profound needs. These invariably go unfulfilled since they are unrealistic and too all consuming for "the other". There you have it... another one of my psychology lectures! Thanks for stopping by! As ever Boni

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

A great cavernous hall of

A great cavernous hall of empty darkness with sudden cracks of light leave me a little desperate and sad, yet well painted in its hollow gape of lost life's love. Ann of Norway

Bonitaj

16 years 9 months ago

Is not longing just that?

"A great cavernous hall..." which echoes back to us - our calls, our own emptiness? THank you so much for stopping by Anne! Haven't heard from you in ages! Interesting to come back to one's poems and read them and say - "WOW! was I really that despairing? that sad? Just shows you what keeping a record will do... lol Take care Bonita j

Nordic cloud

16 years 9 months ago

Been off the Internet

several days too weak a signal here sometimes, will be better when we return to the big city( more like a big villag sh!!) Oslo on Thursday then we are back on Broad band, or whatver its called!! I can't always get here, perhaps i should hitch hike on a poem? Cheers Ann of Norge or Noreg.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in