Native War

Native War

Thunder mounting
Pounding hooves
Rolling dust clouds
Mighty braves

Warriors chanting
Hit the pole
Lances tapping
Blood runs cold

Heat of battle
Sun so hot
Women weeping
Empty pots

Battle cries
Horses falling
Warriors dying
War is calling

— Rett, Oct 21, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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Critiques

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

A battle is on the horizon

A battle is on the horizon in this one, I could hear the horses hooves I could see their faces in battle crys with tomahawk raised ...Rett this one is vivid pictures in word .. stunning write my friend :) kind regards love Jayne x x

Rett

16 years 7 months ago

Thank you Jayne

I truly appreciate it. Very happy the picture came across. *S* Respectfully, Rett: Come and join in for Neonight, October 27, 2009 at 8:00 to 8:45 PM Eastern time. Meet and talk with the AEC chair, Andrew!

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

2nd stanza, typo, you left

2nd stanza, typo, you left the r out of warriors. Now this is very vivid and has a sad feel. I know these things did go on and it is cruel, any war. You have written a gem and I loved it. Thank u. Love to you and yours, Lyz. XX

Rett

16 years 7 months ago

Many thanks Lyz

I appreciate the catch and I fixed it. Irritating little typos sneak in where you least expect them. *LOL* Thanks so much for the kind words. Yes, it went on a lot and it is sad, but I am glad you liked it. Respectfully, Rett: Come and join in for Neonight, October 27, 2009 at 8:00 to 8:45 PM Eastern time. Meet and talk with the AEC chair, Andrew!

Wafi

16 years 7 months ago

Hate Wars

Hate wars, Rett, but I liked the brevity and the style in this poem... I read it aloud and felt that It reads so fast and like in a hurry, just like the situation you described in your words. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~

Rett

16 years 7 months ago

Thanks Wafi

I hate war also, but sometimes it is inevitable. It only takes one to start it. You read it correctly, it is supposed to be fast paced. I appreciate the kind words my friend. My best to you and your family. May all good come your way. Respectfully, Rett: Come and join in for Neo Night, October 27, 2009 at 8:00 to 8:45 PM Eastern time. Meet and talk with the AEC chair, Andrew!

DawningDaytripper

16 years 7 months ago

To be honest Paw.. you left

To be honest Paw.. you left me wondering when you planned to finish it. This is surely not finished... If I am wrong forgive me.... but your flow.... story..... sorry I am not with you here. Or hearing it. And I was all yours with the title. I just love Native warrior's ;-) Now I have Ideas, but it just adds words. You like fewer words, I know this. But this may be to few... in my opinion. Julie D.D.

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