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god shatter in form

These lonely and wretched souls,
having seen and felt throughout all these desolate and macabre nights.
forcing recession before sunlight shall hit our bound and gagged bodys.

We shant return to a concubine state of bliss....
Unsure where to proceed from there.
Forward, back, even side to side....
All that matters is movement.

Time never stands to subside for this lonely wretch,
And then so shall i never cease to stop!
Mountions turn to dust, water to salt. But,

I WONT SHATTER!
I am god.
I who create these mountions and waters

With thousand year eyes and undying thoughts,
My traditions will live on eternal
Whether on script or in mind.

It does not, and will not matter!
Nigh is the prophet who will speak in vain of my wonders.
Vanity is neither bliss nor suffering,

For the joker never truly laughs at his own humour but,
Snickers at those who choose to laugh at which they do not perceive to understand,
Both in life and knowledge of such things.

Beyond they're own sun and moon of there mothers woom,
I am the guiding light to show them both right and wrong.
Sweet sin and bitter truth both appeal.

Which taste can you learn to conform too in this beguiling matter?
I will help to push you in that right direction,
Just make that decision, thats all you must do.

Choose my child,
For i am both perpetual matter and nonexistence folded into one,
Serpent belial of hell, and child angel of virginity.

Both being forever right and never wrong.
For after you choose your own path, the only sin of wrong you can commit is,
Not to see your decisions in life through to the sweet and bitter end.



— thegodshatter2, Jan 02, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: the corner of your eye

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

16 years 5 months ago

Shatter...

I like it... I can see where some believers may think it on the sacrilegious side of tone, but I like the even keel of choice presented, after all, we all make our own, although much of it is generated by what we are surrounded by and what we may or may not be brave enough to find for ourselves. You started out with a more old English tone, but then lost it in the latter stanza's, there are several spelling mistakes and some of the lines were too long in my opinion, could be shortened to keep a tighter flow for the read without losing any of the meaning. The ending was a little flat for me, I mean each one of us are forced to live to the bitter end, even when one takes their own life, it is lived up to the very moment of death... not sure what to suggest there, and perhaps it's just my own realistic view that has flattened it for me. but I liked it, enjoyed the read and the time I've spent thinking about it... thanks for posting! Richard
T

thegodshatter2

16 years 5 months ago

hello mr moon

I thank you for our input on my newest write. first off i would like to point out that the reason for the change from old English to i guess new English is that i felt that as the write went on it would slowly progress with time to the present. if you get my drift? like how it all started then in the future how it would all end. and with the spelling errors i would very much enjoy if you could point them out for me. if i knew how to spell each word correctly i indeed would. so for that reason it would help alot if you could show me what was wrong because as far as i knew all the spellings were correct in my eyes. and yes i will be shortening up some of sentences. i feel how you do in the sense that it could be shorter and still maintain the same feel to it. i will be correcting these matters in the very near future. for now though i am happy with my first draft and appreciate your insight. -Shatter-
T

thegodshatter2

16 years 5 months ago

Thank you

i see what you mean about the consistency and i would like to tell you that i will keep in mind about what you said and in the near future will adding some changes to make things go smoother so to speak. this is also the first write i have ever had where i just started to type and let myself go. i didn't think about what what was being written. i just wrote. silence around me and in the dark i sat and typed for a while until i felt satisfied with this. there are problems with it but, im am none the less happy with this first for myself and hope to do this new form of writing more often. once again thank you for your input and i hope to hear more from you on these matters. -Shatter-
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Shatter

Richards comment is spot on ... I will stand with what he said but again this write made me think and thats always a good read your involved ... tidied up and you've got a damn good write kind regards Jayne
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 5 months ago

Shatter...

I too thought this first draft to be quite good, spelling... mountions ... mountains. of there mothers woom... of their mother's womb to conform too... to conform to like I said, a truly good piece to work into a great poem!

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