Seren

Jan 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

splitting atoms of memory

as my torso
slipped past
pastel waterlilies,
I noticed with a start
a light glinting
off each petal,
then smearing
it in rainbows
of threads

it was as if,
water dimensions
were letting me
slip through,
and peek

illusions took hold
and as each shimmer
turned into a memory,

I immersed,
and waterfall-ed
without doubt

I swam through
sadness, thick swamps
hiding horrors
and joy streams
trickling playfully
with the laughter
of life

sickness stopped
everything,
and all is damned
thrice,
and the health
of a bubbling brook
spoke to me
in whispers

but as I swum into
a crystal sea,
I watched
all memory merging

into who we had become,
and how our memories
helped shape us ...

in my own reminisce
I had forgotten

every memory
is shared,
and stored
in the river
of time

that I now float,

in a papyrus boat

— Seren, Jan 12, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Dale

get ready hun the rides just beginning ;) I got my second wind lol love and hugs Jayne x x x

CyberSpace

16 years 5 months ago

I think I know what pastel

I think I know what pastel waterlilies are ? lol are they what I think they are love you hubby xoxoxoxox

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

yes sweety lol they are what

yes sweety lol they are what you think they are ... love you Jayne x x x and Happy birthday darlin (huggles) lol ;)

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

Oh, Happy Birthday my

Oh, Happy Birthday my darling daughter's Snake (hmmm... ) You betcha, Jayne-Chloe, you've got your second wind.... And such as zephyr it is... all-embracing. Love, Mommy

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Message ... from your daughters Snake lol (hmmmmmm....) thank you kindly sweet lady i don't feel older just a lil bit drunk & happy but jayne is sober i got lots of gifts....................i got a ring a cross necklace a ac.dc poster behind glass so i'm feelin very spoilt & your birthday wishes just added more happiness to my day thankyou very kindly lots of hugs & kisses snake ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ now to your second part of your comment ... you betcha ... I am ok and feeling a lot better ... Snake had an awesome day and I am surprised hes still awake its so hot and the heat was smashing them drinking ...but hes been smiling all day so its all good lol nice to hear a bit of laughter round the house tbh love you Ma lol bet you didnt expect that long message back haha Jayne-Chloe x x psssst he talks more when hes drunk eh ??? pmsl

Geezer

16 years 5 months ago

Know that...

Wherever you go, whatever you do, there are those that share your crystal seas and joy streams. You have let us all follow you on your journeys. Treks to different realms of reality, are the soul-shaping of my favorite dragoness ~ Big hugs and lotta love ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dearest Gee

thank you dear man for your kind message brought a big old smile to my sweaty dial .... its goddamn hot here tonight its still boiling ... thanks for being such a wonderful friend I do appreciate it ... always love and hugs Jayne x x x

Lunegirl

16 years 5 months ago

Mesmerising Jayne! beautiful

Mesmerising Jayne! beautiful imagery. now tell me, what are pastel water lillies lol H.B love vicki xxx

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dearest Vix

LMAO ... I will tell you later, much later what the pastel waterlilies are ... I cant believe he picked that up to be honest lol ... norty man giving away my secret lol I am glad no one else has asked thanks so much for your comment its much appreciated ... loved your latest it was awesome !! love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 5 months ago

A left raft ride in life...

Ooooooohhhhhhhhh I jumped on to a piant lilypad and cut loose the leaf to take a jounrney down the stream, steered through the rapids and then jumped the cascading waterfall and flaoted down in awe... as the the foamy white spray of the water reuniting with the earth induces a misty haze of drifting memory with a rainbow slide to each cloud be it happy or sad. I was in a blissful ride through life with its ups and downs and side to sides... until the papyrus raft was blown away from me by a gust of present now thoughts and some one tapped me on my shoulder and introduced themselves as Mr Gravity and down I plummeted in to the NOW river torrent that carried me on... Absolutely amazing journey you have created here Jayne, you have somehow turned your page in to alice in wonderland and mastered the world of imagination and illusion far better than even Lewis Carroll! Superb penning... superfludic writing indeed! Never burst that bubble of creativity you have... Dale :)

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dearest Dale

Your such a Gem you read a piece and soak in it ...imo ... you have eyes that see through me so well even when I try to be vague ... and your compliment on Lewis Carroll ... damn I grew up with him and thats one of the best compliments you could give me ...I always appreciate the time you take and your insiteful comments always let me know if my 'story' or theme has gotten through ... I always say it and I always will .. I never know whats good of mine or whats bad ... I am a bad judge of my own work love and mountains of hugs Jayne x x x

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 5 months ago

Lol Jayne...

Would it help if I said.. you done good gal?! I could do my Caligula thumb up or down... but i'm not like him so you got a double thumbs up and a big grin! This top notch stuff without a doubt Jayne, swash buckle that self-doubt demon in you and repeat after me ten times... Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent! Tada! So what are you Jayne? An awesome writer that is what... don't argue with me... because... because ... well I'll cry and sulk lol! Belive me Jayne you're a very good writer! Dale :)

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dearest Dale

I woke up this morning and burst out laughing at your message and I am still laughing at caligula Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent, Splitting Atoms Of Memory is Excellent! now I think thats ten lmao ???? please dont cry or sulk(cause that gets me everytime) ... and thank you so much dear man made my morning ... nothing better than a good laugh love and mountains of hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

Your poetry is steadily

Your poetry is steadily evolving into your own individual unique voice.I know you, and I have considered the issue of clarity, and I know I have not finalised my understanding of this issue; although I don't think there is one set rule. I think it is a good goal for the writer to try to instill as much clarity into the poem as is possible ,all things considered. We want the reader to join us whenever possible, but some things are just too personal, and I don't know if standing compleatly naked is always a good thing; though I know there are times when it can really create a powerful poem. Some of the most poerful poetry exposes the reader to the naked poet, and in so doing exposes the reader to themselves.We all as poets slide in to these waters however naked. Brilliantly expressed Jayne, but you are not yet at the height you will one day reach. B

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Barry

I am hoping with some real study I can improve i plan to do a degree when all my personal dramas have sorted themselves ... something to look forward to ... the issue on clarity is a sketchy one ... I really imo think it depends on the type of poem your writing ... I have a love for surrealist poetry (thanks to Brian) he steered me that way a few months ago and I have developed a deep love for it ... but then i also like confessional poetry but again just my opinion it takes a lot of nouce and guts to bare your soul to a world something i have built up to ... I dont know whats ahead thats the good thing about future its like a surpise everyday no matter its a good or bad one its stil a surprise and life thanks so much hun (huggles) and mountains of love Jayne x x x

ziggy

16 years 4 months ago

hi,

hi there jayne wat a read great imagery reads so well enjoyed it ,,,,,,,ziggy

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Ziggy

Glad you enjoyed it ... i will be round later having a read of everyone and i think I saw a new one for you in my friends list ... cya later lol love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

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