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whitetea
whitetea
Mar 27, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Swirling your pickup trap

Speak sweet stars to me
boy, let me sparkle
over my spilled condolences



lets talk extra planetary
we can bend silver knuckle spoons.

I'm gonna make you lose your hair
leather out a new shiny scalp

So you say you're a writer,
(we are both the endangered ones
don't make this mistake)
which only tells me
you are a pretty minded liar
when in love.

I am not your bleached sheet of paper
I was never the wonderous empty noun,
always been my own terrible verb.


P.S.

Don't make me your Sylvia
You will not be my Ted.


— whitetea, Mar 27, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Chrystos, Mark Strand, Adrienne Rich, Naomi Shihab Nye, Rachel M. Simon, Donald Justice, Mary Oliver, Nikki Giovanni, Alice Walker, Bukowski, Mary Lambert

More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear WT

My stars are going to speak for me tonight ... go you lol ;) love and hugs JayCee
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 2 months ago

>

I understand that marriages are more complicated that what meets the eye. It's hard to know what went on behind closed doors, and really don't think Ted Hughes was terrible. Glad to see that you caught that reference.
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 2 months ago

Great one, Whitetea,

got me hooked from the first line. Maybe scratch the P.S.? "I will always be my own terrible verb" is such a strong line, I think it should really be the final line. Of course, you can also use Sylvia and Ted elsewhere. Yours, ~Nina
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 2 months ago

Men can be such arseholes

Men can be such arseholes sometimes, eh. Great write. Actually, he's no Bukowski either. ;-) ~A Words must be used like stepping stones: lightly and with nimbleness, because if you step on them too heavily, you incur the danger of falling into the intellectual mire of logic and reason. - Balsekar
lou

lou

16 years 2 months ago

Damn love

I Liked this poem especialy the first and fith stanzas , but I the Sylvia Plath reference takes away some of the effect, from what is a powerful poem.
OM

odd molly

16 years 2 months ago

Dear Whitetea I ve read many

Dear Whitetea I ve read many of your poems and I just wanted to say that I find you being a very good and interesting writer. I do love poetry that is honest and free as yours and has interesting subjects.. yes thankyou for sharing so much of your heart. I do agree with lou about the Sylvia Plath and the effect it had on the poem. I will come visit your page again and again. love. o molly
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 2 months ago

oddmolly

thank you for reading what I have written and the pauses, margins and spaces I have left between what is there.
Esker

Esker

16 years 2 months ago

Artisan Humansan

met artists en route and in the feild jagged souls some yet the calm alloy that shone in moonlight basked in sunlight sharp edged This line I liked of your words always your words I admire I have read some Plath yet to read Teds works saving some treasures still and enjoying those like this Thanks Esker~
whitetea

whitetea

16 years 2 months ago

it was an off moment

i usually feel a connection with the ones who See. but never within a forced concentration or obvious conceit.
loved

loved

16 years 2 months ago

JUST LOVELY

We poets Each one of us is unique I have no ability to comment, Nor correct, As any comma and full stop change, Will the poet’s originality derange? But five stars we must give So the poet is ready For his next kill. Gr8888888888 poetry Lovely Spot light worthy LOVED
A

Arrow

16 years 2 months ago

I'm torn about this.

I found the beginning confusing, even with the explanation, although the contempt and power struggle are clear -- rather like walking in on a fight. The stanza about nouns and verbs is great as is the imagery (as usual). I like the end as is. I picture you pushing this guy down with your verb-ish power then turning back with your dismissive P.S. (which here could stand for post-shove!).

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