TENDRILS...

Tendrils of love
weave their subtle
beads of nectar
onto your
sinews of shimmering
rope.

The rope that binds
wraps
clothes
my abyss heart.

Now snapped off
closed shut
I wither,
my parasitical sucker
ceased.

The void
so immense,
no umbilical
will ever
connect.

Ellie LaCrosse

— panaella, Apr 03, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

raskin

16 years 2 months ago

This is pretty good. A

This is pretty good. A tendril can't take hold in a cavernous void of emotion. Great ending on lack of connection. Very good. raskin

panaella

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you

You got it! Lack of connection and or when someone withdraws or leaves and the sustaining flow dries up. Ells x

Candlewitch

16 years 2 months ago

Hello

My favorite lines are: The void so immense, no umbilical will ever connect. so true... always, Cat

panaella

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you

Hi Cat, I used the word umbilical because it's 'rope-like' and has that connotation of attachment that I wanted to bring to an end. Ells x

Seren

16 years 2 months ago

Dear P

I loved the whole poem but felt the connection between the second and the third verse was lost what snapped the heart off ... maybe you wanted it to be vague but I kept asking why ?? .. the verse before binds wraps and clothes in my mind thats just cloaking the heart I dont feel a choking off so to speak I loved that first verse its wonderful hope you didnt mind the crit I am trying to be more vocal with my opinions and learning along the way love JayCee

panaella

16 years 2 months ago

Hey good one!

No..I definitely wanted a split...understanding that when the flow of love ceases...the heart can wither and sometimes not be resurrected. I agree its a little abrupt...might have to redraft...but i also wanted the reader to make up their own mind about the things that cut off love... Bit too vague? Luv Ells x

DawningDaytripper

16 years 2 months ago

Good imagery and theme here,

Good imagery and theme here, like that alot. I will try to catch more. Julie D.D.

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