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chat from May1st - Limericks
limericks are 5 line humourous verses rhymed AABBA with a strong ta daa rhythm.
Wikipedia says- A limerick is a five-line poem in anapestic or amphibrachic
meter with a strict rhyme scheme (aabba)
a classic example-
there was an old lady from Clyde
who ate fourty apples and died
the apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider insider her inside
and a classic mis-example-
there is a young man from japan
whose poems just never will scan
he sits up all night
but try as he might
he always ends up putting as many words in the last line as he possible can
[Geezer] 11:06 am: My personal favorite is :
There was a young man named Sidney,
Who drank 'till he shriveled his kidneys
They shriveled and shrank
As he sat there and drank
I guess he he had fun though, didn't he?
[Darknlovely3436] 11:15 am:
The panther is like a leapord
except it hasn't been peppered
should you behold a panther crouch,
prepare to say ouch
better yet, if called by a panther
don't anther
[ephraim crud] 11:19 am:
unlike the famous Sir Len Hutton
i wouldn't know an Allan Lamb from mutton
for the game of cricket
just isn't me ticket
-i know nowt of teein' off or puttin@
[magics02] 11:28 am:
There was an old man named Jean
He worked till he was mean and lean
Twas dark as night
he came out to bite
and left not a mark to be seen
[ephraim crud] 11:30 am:
a lissome young man of King's Lynne
went missin', but turned up agynn.
when asked, had he eaten
said, 'yes, at Nuneaton'
so that's where the young man had bynn.
[Rett] 11:33 am:
She put her hand on her hip
Then gave her backbone a slip
A flip of her hair
A come hither stare
Then slipped her chip in his dip
[ephraim crud] 11:34 am:
a bearded young charmer named Spittle
it appeared, spoke alarmingly little.
when asked, 'will it do
if we call you Spew?'
he replied, disarmingly, 'it'll'
[weirdelf] 11:35 am:
a room full of poets realise
that limericks get in your eyes
not dirt or grit
or from getting hit
but from laughing at terrible lies
[magics02] 11:36 am:
All the dice were drawn
and here came her prawn
so wise and so swift
she laid him a kick
nothing was left at dawn
[Rett] 11:38 am:
A budding young man named Drew
Decided he'd try a chew
He forgot to spit
His eyes crossed a bit
Tobacco juice he did spew
[weirdelf] 11:43 am:
While drinking my fourty third beer
my mind started acting all queer
my left frontal lobe
did flash like a strobe
and make its escape through my ear
[ephraim crud] 11:49 am:
i went to a sumptuous dinner
where food and beer were a scrumptious winner,
but i over -fed
and landed in bed,
Lord , forgive such a gumptionless sinner.
[ephraim crud] 11:53 am:
our smithy is glamorous Granville
who sings as he hammers his anvil.
if the metal is porous
we gat all the 'chorus'
which brings everythin to a standstill.
[Geezer] 11:53 am:
My auntie drank Tiger piss beer
she always kept a bottle near
She liked having a buzz
I understood her cause
But her hangovers caused me fear
[Rett] 11:55 am:
Old Jackson had a pet deer
It drank only the best beer
Being somewhat daft
It preferred it draft
Unscrewing the caps brought a tear.
[weirdelf] 11:56 am:
When man-eating fish leave no marks
and are curiously absent from parks
I see a bright light
and have the insight
that dolphins are really gay sharks
[ephraim crud] 12:00 pm:
what's he aiming at now, cried the sewer,
complaining about my effluvia?
it's here cos they dump it
so he'll have to lump it
or find somewhere else that's salubrier.
[Rett] 12:01 pm:
Never give Aussies a beer
It makes them crazy I fear
They'll chase kangaroos
For making their stews
Turn your back they'll piss in yer ear
[Geezer] 12:04 pm:
Elf is a master of limericks
He says he knows all their tricks
Elf magic he does
And it's good because
He can get in his licks
[ephraim crud] 12:18 pm:
in the future foreseeable
i'm gonna be disagreeable,
the treasure of age
is the pleasure that rage
can make us so much less amenable!