Changing

The doctor said "This will change you",
Whatever did he know,
I was changed before,
Is it possible to change again,
Or even more,
When tragedy strikes a chord,

Like a punch in the gut,
A fist around my heart,
I feel pain, I see tears,
In my lover's eyes,

I have failed him again,
Will I ever give him what he wants,
What he deserves,
Life beyond his own,
One to carry his name on,

I am flawed and don't know why,
Is it something I've done,
In this life,
Does the fault, here I wonder, ly with me,
While sympathetic loved ones,
Claim it was meant to be,

I try not to question,
To not show jealousy,
To brush away the anger,
That quietly rises inside of me,

Till it explodes,
I rant and rave,
Yet, continue to pray,
For they say,
If I am faithful,
So it will be,
But they aren't with me,
Late at night,

Only my love and me,
Battle-worn and wounded,
My heart rises when he says,
"I have made no mistake,
By loving you',

He wants to stay with me,
The love I feel washes out the cold,
And I no longer feel alone,

As I interlace his fingers in mine,
Look into his eyes,
And whisper,
"In heaven, we are parents",

He suffers with me,
He loves with me,
And so we change together.