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YEAR OF THE CAT

Chinese New Year- Falling in Love

Standing in the gloom
of the room
your male presence
mesmerises

like in the middle of
a kaleidoscope
now the room
revolves around
your face

patterns
shapes all
juxtapositioned
the epicentre of
your dark being

In that moment
you were imprinted
onto me
no code cracker
has the key

to unravel what
this word means
to me

d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s

You said this
was one of 'my' words

You liked me to
slowly roll
it over my
tongue

Made you smile
like the creamy Cheshire cat

No-one else
liked my deliciousness
quite the way
you did
— panaella, Jun 23, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

N

Natania

15 years 11 months ago

cool

I like the imagery. Its delicious :D
P

panaella

15 years 11 months ago

thank you

Hi Nat, I really appreciate your comments...thanks for swinging by! Ells x
themoonman

themoonman

15 years 11 months ago

Me too...

the imagery is very good... one suggestion, hope you don't mind... like in the middle of a kaleidoscope In the middle of your kaleidoscope (what ya think?)(maybe??) enjoyed the read Ells, hot!! I even liked the use of the Cheshire Cat, which I usually find to be used too readily in poetry, but here, it works(well, for me lol) Richard
P

panaella

15 years 11 months ago

thanks

Hi Richard, Brilliant...thanks pal! Luv Ells x
P

panaella

15 years 11 months ago

revision

Hi Richard, Have tried to revise by adding your suggestion of 'your' into the text....for some strange reason it's not letting me!...how ironic!
themoonman

themoonman

15 years 11 months ago

Hi Ells...

I have no idea why the software would reject it, damn technology lol... maybe try again later, the poem is marked "updated" on this side. I'm glad you liked the suggestion, I thought if you gave ownership of that crisp image it would make it an even stronger statement. thanks Ells
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Ell's

Yeah make sure you warn us Ell's lol they tend to have a punch in them ... wonderful write sorry to get here late love and hugs JayCee x x x (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

P.S I love Richards

P.S I love Richards Suggestion lol :P (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
R

raj

15 years 11 months ago

Hi Ells

would it be right if i say that this write is a blend of a gloomy nightmare n delicious dream or should i say a delicious dream chases away a gloomy nightmare?.. warmly...raj (sublime_ocean)

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