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Panic at Nightfall

I taste the air it is not syrup
no sweet flavour
the reminiscence of Christmas
the silver white magnesium moon burns
reflecting like a quarrelling whore
white with fear
round and pregnant




She the moon has
the cracked face of a porcelain doll
held over a waxed table
dropped like a quick date
a falling shadow
drunken tramp
sleeps on the ground
this coverlet of black
hugs the bed a wild bear.
— pinksheep, Jul 14, 2010

Critiques

Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Pinksheep

only one thing I could see wrong with this one 3rd last line a space is needed between the ground unless that was on purpose lol dark poem kind regards JayCee
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Pink

The first few lines hooked me. my favorite lines are: She the moon has the cracked face of a porcelain doll held over a waxed table dropped like a quick date a falling shadow Always, Cat

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