Fragments of the Stolen Self 

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's central conceit—identity as arithmetic, the self parsed into halves and quarters—becomes most arresting in the fifth stanza, where the fractions stop being descriptive and turn against one another. The lines about fifty percent stealing from twenty-five percent's hands give the poem its real subject: a single body holding both oppressor and oppressed. This is the most original move here, and the poem would gain by trusting it earlier, since the opening stanzas keep the reader in the territory of self-description before this tension arrives.

The phrase "Catholic Witch with faiths entwined" works because it states a contradiction plainly and lets it stand, and "Light and shadow, both are mine" earns its place by following directly from that image. Similarly, "A mother with arms, yet empty space" lands through restraint—the gap it names is felt rather than explained.

Some of the earlier figures lean on familiar pairings that do less work: "my pen bleeds ink," "words force worlds to think," and "weaving emotions bare" reach for intensity through stock phrasing rather than through specific image. The poem is strongest when it is concrete (the fractions, the entwined faiths) and weaker when it asserts feeling in the abstract. One path forward would be to replace a phrase like "notes that haunt the air" with a particular sound, instrument, or moment, letting a single detail carry the claim the abstraction currently makes.

The rhyme scheme is steady, but a few rhymes bend the syntax to land—"cold winds of yore" and "truths and lore" introduce archaic diction that sits oddly against the contemporary, plainspoken voice elsewhere. Loosening the insistence on full rhyme in those spots might let the language stay in one register.

Finally, the closing stanza returns to the language of fate and fire, which is serviceable but more general than the bloodline material that precedes it. Given how specific and unsettling the fifth stanza is, a resolution that engaged that internal division directly—rather than resolving into "threads of fate"—would give the ending the same charge the middle of the poem has already established.

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.. resonating well with my inner self. Daring yet serene. 

me a couple of run throughs, but I managed to get through the ending, in a fairly smooth rhythm. I rather fancy myself as an orator of sorts, and story-telling mode is one way to get a good rhythm going. An orator needs good direction from the author to read it properly and unless he/she are right there... punctuation and the right words are the key. ~ Good job in presenting a rather interesting story in rhyme. ~ Geezer.