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This poem is part of the challenge:

06/26 If Monday Was a Person

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Monday was her name

Monday was her name

She would've encompassed, the smiles and cries

With the summary, of many week’s gone bye,

Her predecessor is the Sunday when I decide.

To let Monday be the beginning

of a better life.

Trust is a part Monday’s lies.

But Sunday is when the truth can survive.

Believing in thyself is always compromise.

A good night sleep will give you the direction

you need to find

 

— Trouble, Jun 07, 2026

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Detroit Mi

Favorite Poets: my poets are john Coltrane and Sarah Vaughan OK they are not poets but their music is reason that I write . I want my poetry to flow like their music

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 day 5 hours ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's central conceit — Monday as a named figure, a kind of personified fresh start caught between the honesty of Sunday and the promises of the week ahead — is genuinely interesting and worth developing further. The tension between Sunday as a space of truth and Monday as a space of "lies" (meaning perhaps false hope or self-deception) has real emotional potential, and the title earns its weight by making Monday feel like a person the speaker has a complicated relationship with.

The main place the poem loses its footing is in the closing lines, which shift away from that metaphorical world into direct advice ("A good night sleep will give you the direction you need to find"). This breaks the spell the earlier imagery was building, and the line "Believing in thyself is always compromise" arrives without enough context to feel earned — it reads as a statement in search of a meaning rather than a meaning that has found its statement. Tightening the grammar and punctuation throughout would also help: the commas in the second and third lines interrupt the natural flow without adding the kind of pause or emphasis that intentional line breaks can achieve. Returning to the Sunday/Monday opposition and letting that contrast do the argumentative work — rather than stepping outside the poem to explain it — would give the piece the coherence its opening promises.

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patrickgadoury

patrickgadoury

1 day 23 hours ago

Monday on/a Sunday

Writing Monday poetry on a Sunday feels personally rude, so thanks for that.

Jokes aside, I like the idea here. Monday almost feels like a person promising a better life, while Sunday is the last honest room before the lie starts again. That part works for me.

Trouble

Trouble

1 day 21 hours ago

Monday

Hey it's a honor too hear from you the frame work of this poem was ( how everyone hates Monday because it start a new week of work, relationships etc)

We all gather our thoughts Monday morning when we go off to whatever a job or kids  but Sunday is a day of rest when the truth can survive  

Thanks for the love