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Institution
I walked through a metal detector
Every morning, Monday through Friday.
I had to put my bag through an x-ray
And have my person wanded.
It felt like I had four years probation.
It was normal to me. How baffled was i
When i realized it wasn’t normal to everyone
At that age.
In the rooms there were no windows.
Just a big one that wrapped around the hallway
Like a hand wraps around a camera. The public
Got to see images of us in a cage.
We certainly acted caged, Putting on a show
every opportunity we got. Tearing each other apart
like we were auditioning for The Lion King.
I remember visiting another institution like mine.
No metal detector, no wand,No x-ray.
Being in that one was almost as wild of an experience.
A battle could’ve ensued, weapons drawn.
I’m surprised it didn't happen, being
So used to seeing them: battles.
It was so peaceful. I guess that was the expectation
There. In the one I was used to, they expected debauchery.
I enjoyed it. I was able to stick to the plan
And do what I arrived to do.
No interruptions.
It only lasted a few hours, the peace and freedom.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Critiques
neopoet
1 day 6 hours ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's central insight arrives quietly and lands hard: the speaker's realization that a daily security screening was not universal, and the dawning understanding that this was a marker of something specific about the institution. The line "It felt like I had four years probation" does a great deal of work in a small space, naming a sentence-length confinement that wasn't legally a sentence at all, and the word "probation" carries the implication of guilt assumed in advance.
The strongest image is the window that "wrapped around the hallway / Like a hand wraps around a camera." The comparison is doing two things at once — describing surveillance and suggesting the way a hand controls and frames what is seen — and the phrase "images of us in a cage" pays it off well. The poem trusts the reader to feel the institutional dehumanization without naming it outright, which is its best instinct.
That trust slackens in a few places where the poem explains what it has already shown. "We certainly acted caged" tells the reader the conclusion before the vivid detail that follows it; the Lion King audition image is sharp enough to carry the idea on its own, and the poem might begin that stanza with the action rather than the summary. Similarly, the final movement leans on abstraction — "peace and freedom," "expected debauchery," "do what I arrived to do" — at the moment it most needs the concrete. The contrast between the two institutions is the poem's emotional engine, and it would strike harder if the second institution were rendered with the same specificity as the first: what the windows looked like there, what the few peaceful hours actually held.
The closing line, "It only lasted a few hours, the peace and freedom," is well placed and quietly devastating, but its force depends on the reader having seen that peace concretely rather than been told its name. One concrete image of what those hours contained would let the ending detonate rather than gesture.
A smaller note on craft: the poem mixes capitalized and lowercase "i," and has a few run-together spots ("wand,No x-ray," "Putting on a show") that read as typos rather than choices. Regularizing these would remove a small distraction from lines that are otherwise carrying real weight. The poem has a clear subject and a true thing to say about it; tightening the abstract passages toward the same precision as its best images would let that subject speak more fully.
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