Sleep now my shadow
Moonless must be
This night became lost in
Your dark misery
Searching for signals
Without eyes to see
Looking regardless
So frantically

Umbilical severed
No tether to you
Words hold no meaning
This promise untrue
One ego, careless
Morality flew
Two hearts now broken
Mended with glue

I don’t know how it happened
And I don’t know when it started
But slowly I noticed that I hated you.
You noticed it too.

Day by day it all fell apart
Bit by bit I broke you down
I wanted you to hate me too
But you never stopped loving me.

I tried and I tried
To push you away
So I could retreat back to my solitude.
You wouldn’t let me.

It sounds romantic but
It made me hate you more.
I wish I could say I still loved you then too
But I can’t remember.

Here she lies,
all broken and battered
after a night she will not soon forget.
Her lover in trouble and full of regret,
he now thinks they should of just watched the sunset.
Alas, they may still be here if it weren't
for his corvette.

I was once only slate gray,
orderly neutrals,

simple hues of contentment,
familiar shades and moods.

Now I own the sunlight.

When did the sky and ocean waltz together
to give birth to breathtaking teal?

When did the scarlet tears from the pomegranate
unearth the aged grain of my cutting board,

or the grinning yellow of your
shiny, wet raincoat burst into my life?

I hear the rush of waterfalls,
understand the sweet taste of cream,

and as you hold me close,
the fragrance of warmest cinnamon

Self actualization materialized
like ghost that came back to haunt me!

Figurative silver lining gleaned
from hyperawareness encompassing
great proportion of my existence.

Agonizing enlightenment points
to realization sweeping across avast arc
(nemesis) analogous as dark shadows
from outer limits of twilight zone.

We lay together as gentle waves
Lapped soft, warm sands on balmy days.
Summer sprung, sang her song
Of a girl and I,
Of passions young.

Our fingers touched, then our lips
My hands slipped down and raised her hips.
I bowed my head, felt her sigh
As desire clouded teenage minds.

Trees swayed they sang a song of bliss,
Bees hummed in blossom as we kissed,
Wild honeysuckle filled the air
With fragrance sweet our flesh to wear.

They are trapped in photographs now
glimpses of moments
only a few know the places
dates and times
No recordings
except what plays in her mind
There was a time
she'd phone the landline
just to hear her voice
She never left a message
she knew there was no point
Maybe if she gathered up
those photos
Laid them
end to end
She could flick through them
a movie
to play pretend
Sadly
The ending would be the same.

I have tried to distract myself
By waiting for the full moon
Or looking at the green rolling hills in the distance
As I speed down these lonesome highways
But there is nowhere left to run

Time is moving so fast
While the days are dragging by,
Painfully
And our dreams get further and further away
It's enough to drive a man insane

I pulled off the two-lane California Highway.
Searching for my independence at seventeen.
The sign said:

FRUIT CUTTERS WANTED - $1.50 PER CRATE!

The Mexican women were no doubt puzzled
by the presence of someone so young –
and white, if I’m being honest,
whose blisters and cuts would likely be plentiful
by the end of the warm summer day.

The elderly woman standing next to me
placed the sliced fruit onto sun-greyed wooden trays
laid out before us with the skill of a card dealer in Vegas.

I hear the whispers
chanting a rhyme,
I see the shadows
morphing in time

I trace the vellum
covering my heart,
I touch the beat
it wrest me apart

I watch the night
the stars start to dance,
coiled starlight rapping
my mind is entranced

Then Nephthys appeared
I was gobsmacked in awe,
she held my arm gently
and ignored all my flaws

On through the mists
I was moving to song,
gyrating and gasping
breath was withdrawn