When the love I lost had left me by that savage, sapphire sea.
And the turning tides had told me that no longer she loved me.

I went working, for the season, with Steve Sorrow, my best friend.
For I knew, that love and loving, had for me, now reached an end.

We went selling, up in Bispham, windows, working for John Cash.
He was stout, but he seemed savvy, wore a suit and black moustache.

Work was easy, Johnny told us, windows almost sell themselves.
Steve said: “I am not convinced, I’d rather we were stacking shelves.”

The miracle of life,
what a wonderful thing!
A new child in this world.
What exactly could their life bring?

Playing in idyllic fields.
Climbing the highest trees.
Laughing at the silliest things.
Feeling what it’s like to be free.

Then as I grow a bit older,
I start to learn new things.

Impulses of rebellion,
bits of curiosity here and there.
Distancing from my loved ones.
I start to become more aware.

Then as I grow older,
I learn some more new things.

I greet the night like an old friend
along with the full faced moon.
With neither need I pretend.
Old bones insist I sit down soon.

So I shamble to a place
where I can sit against a tree
and absorb the peace and grace.
Where I can relax and simply Be.

Full moon illuminates this hill
supplying shadows soft and dim
and in these woods soft and dim
imagination comes on a whim.

The modern-day floozy and bawd,
Isn’t working for your cheers nor applause.
Like a fractured mirror exposes her situation,
Whatever name she uses, false information.

Betty didn’t want to be a harlot or a floozy,
And her life is far removed from that movie.
A Pretty Woman before she turned to the trade,
Betty services men in order to get paid.

I crave a little happiness
to cheer my twilight years.
My Mom says I’ve no right to it,
and cites my ex-wife’s tears.

I pray for peace and joy filled days
to make my life worthwhile.
She says, for sweet serenity,
I’ve been too vain and vile.

Mom also says, I’ve sinned away
the day of God’s good grace.
That when true love was offered me,
I spat in true love’s face.

I don’t deny this guilt of mine;
I know my fatal flaw,
but though I don’t have angel wings,
I’m not the devil’s whore!

Our weekend on the coast
lies just a few miles ahead.
The cows we pass to our right
continue chewing their indifference.

She knows it's coming again.
"First bovine sighting: 3:15pm.
Some call them cows.", I say
with all the silliness I can muster.

My overused quip
still sparks a very slight beam
in her indulgent eyes.

"That look, right there!",
I point at her and accuse,
as I catch her smile before it fades.

Enfold me dark Angel, Enfold me,
With your Black Satin Wings draw me near,
Draw me close to your soft swollen bosom,
Draw me far from life and its fears.

Embrace me dark Angel, Embrace me,
Keep me safe in the coldness of love,
Let my mind sink to the abyss
To be held as if in silk glove.

Teach me dark Angel, teach me,
You know that to you I am true.
Though you give yourself freely to others
None will be faithful to you.

Numbness
Encompassing me
Eradicating emotions
Ever so carefully

Wrapped in a blanket
Of hopelessness and despair
The worn out face in the mirror
Blinks and wonders how we got here

The shrapnel of life
Imbedded in my mind
Frozen in time
Prisoner of the worst kind

Stainless steel on the sink
Sweetly calls my name
Promising to take away
All of the pain

Blindly loving is a curse
What comes after
Is so much worse
The noise in my head never stops

Blue is the colour of cornflowers
Blue is the colour of the sea
Blue is the colour of the big bright sky
Blue is the colour of my family

It is found in the scales of fish
It is found in the feathers of birds
It is found in the deepest of eyes
It is found but never heard

Blue is the colour of sadness
It is found in the trickle of tears
Blue is the colour of my secrets
And all of my deepest fears

If you just do what you're told, sit up straight and do your work life will be easy, simple right? That’s what we are told from the first day of school follow those simple rules and everything will work out But no one prepares you for the side that might break you. As we grow older, we learn on our own that those steps won’t get you through everything and you will have to work harder than anyone has prepared you for. The hard work you put in to just get a passing grade. It builds you up and then breaks you down.