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LATE SUMMER DRIVE
Gravel groans beneath my old truck tires
driving slowly down this remote road
dust plumes rise like double pyres
coating roadside weeds with a gray load
All is a faded worn out green
from thunderstorms and summer sun
but here and there some gold is seen
on poplar tops above duff's dun
I cross a bridge with thick wood floor
above a creek that's nearly dry
with autumn rains it soon shall roar
beneath a cooler wind swept sky
Then I pull to the road side
beneath a giant white oak tree
and pause to watch a red hawk glide
kind of wishing it was me
Next to appear, a humming bird
followed by a monarch butterfly
both to goldenrods are lured
which nod beside a ditch nearby
It's far too hot to leave my truck
so I crank up and head toward home
while hoping with a little luck
I'll next come here when wild bucks roam
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
12 years 9 months ago
another great stroll
may be with smoother rhythm it would be even greater.Liked the rhyme scheme .
and I can relate to these special lines
Then I pull to the road side
beneath a giant white oak tree
and pause to watch a red hawk glide
kind of wishing it were me
thanks for sharing.
scribbler
12 years 9 months ago
Hi Rula
when too hot to stroll I record drives lol. This is pretty rough and hopefully I'll slowly work the kinks out..........stan