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Dead Girl Walking
She owns each heart that dares to dream
and quickly initiates,
he settles for his drama spared
while he evaluates;
she chooses to quietly greet the dawn
and secretly contemplates,
he hears anguish, her voice is gone
as she deliberates.
She understands, he's indecisive
learning to tolerate,
he alone, can predict the future
for those that irritate;
She wanders lost inside his eyes
and feels him devastate,
he merely feigns a shocked surprise,
reaching out to violate.
She turns to run away
as he perpetuates,
he knows she's started praying for
to ease, and alleviate;
she gets too close and then can't
properly investigate,
he possesses a grip evolved,
causing her to suffocate!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Candlewitch
12 years 7 months ago
Dear Doc,
Good title! Made me curious to read this piece. This reminds me of one of my bad relationships, made in Hell, before I met my "Only"
She turns to run away
as he perpetuates,
he knows she's started praying
to alleviate;
she gets too close and can't
properly investigate,
he owns a grip evolved,
causing her to suffocate!
always, Cat