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Geremia
Geremia
Oct 21, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Apocalypse [inspired by Moonman]--updated

APOCALYPSE

And when the wars were done
the soldiers left
to almost none
came marching home
to find no one.
for a madness had taken
soul and mind
of those left behind

across the skies
stained crimson red
churning black
Angels wings ripped and torn
filed two by two
out of Heaven's Gate
the dead by their side
singing ¬in excelsis deo
God was back….
.
Laughter of a nature divine
shook the universe
and fear owned the hearts
of Mankind
again

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

themoonman

themoonman

12 years 8 months ago

Hi Joe,

To think any write was inspired by me is quite
the compliment, thank you.

I did have a suggestion or two if you'd care to
hear them,

And when the wars were done
the soldiers to almost none
came marching home
to no one.
( to no one seems unneeded, already covered
in the line "to almost none" elegantly so)

for a madness had taken
soul and mind
of those left behind
in village , city and town,
(in village, city and town not needed
here in my opinion, no need to spoon
feed the reader, give them some credit)

The rest of this poem is scary but then
I expect that is the way you see God,
a jealous and vengeful being having the
last laugh on humanity, and actually a
great ending for your poem.

thank you Sir for sharing

Richard

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

Joe

This is good, but my way of wanting a God to fear is not on, lol
I refuse to return to those days when only the priest could read and write.
Thank a kind benevolent God for all the Bards we have and that have been.
Lovely to see you writing about other things, hope this comment finds you well, and full of beans, Yours Ian.T

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

Joe

Lovely to see you there and just know that we are there with you as you need, have you listened to the tape yet??? It is only a sample of me talking to the children and nothing to worry about..
Take care, Yours Ian.T