Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

sueb
sueb
Nov 14, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Stalker

She created a shrine
she whispered "he's mine"
she smiled and dreamed of their future life
she decided she would be his wife
she followed him day and night -
if spotted she was always polite
she never thought of wrong or right
she never felt the need to be contrite
she never did it out of spite
she just fell in love at first sight
thats the stalkers plight

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Ireland, IRL

More from this author

Comments

BettyBuff

BettyBuff

12 years 8 months ago

Hi SueB!

I liked the verbs...the action. Except line 6...if you kept it from the 'She' perspective...'she was spotted often but always polite'...or some such...to keep your rhyme.

'Betty' aka Ellie :)

Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 8 months ago

hi Sueb

a fun poem, the remorsless rhyming of the 'ite' sound is compelling and plays nicely against the satire, I would punctuate it, helps the reader ( you never know a 'best man' might use this in a wedding speech) ha ha