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Nov 18, 2012
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AWAKE
It's four A.M. the cold wind blows
seeking entry into silent house
yet tired eyes refuse to close
pen darts on paper like a mouse
transfering thoughts and verse from mind
Through the window sickle moon
slowly slides across the sky
daylight will be breaking soon
as frost forms on a land turned dry
on mantle, clock gears slowly grind
Muffled goose calls reach my ear
a southbound flight in starry night
to be heard inside they must be near
by dawn they'll be far out of sight
having left this poet far behind
A gust moans in the abode's eaves
as lid grow heavy on old eyes
last thoughts before wakefulness leaves
is the loss of youth which I despise
and hope the new day will be kind
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Esker
12 years 8 months ago
all nighter special
I remember having to be on a train
travelling to visit
or driving having to be to work
summer job in a city
Sometimes I just cant sleep too
awake and seeing the thing fingers of
dawn crawling over the horizon
the dogs wake me for the walk
and we go out
the moon sometimes in the sky to
the west
fired up with light
the morning crimson and dull
still just arriving
we walk on our trail nearby
urban with trees watching the
geese too moving from the big
city lake to the small residential
lake Keeping low
and calling
walking feeling the aches and pains
moving feeling the work ahead
shaking my head knowing I can
get through this day
Even after being up all night long
sometimes
Great poem on nature and I love
the rhyme
love the thoughts about again
and closing lines
Thank You
scribbler
12 years 8 months ago
Hi Esker
Sometimes it seems you can be too tired to sleep lol. It's always nice to see you show up for a visit and let me know how a poem affected you.....................stan
loved
12 years 8 months ago
oh what a sigh ..Relief
by dawn they'll be far out of sight
having left ...........................
this poet............................................................ far far and far far behind
hahahahahh aaa
u asked for it Stan
scribbler
12 years 8 months ago
Hi loved
That's far behind not fart behind lol................stan
jetz
12 years 8 months ago
Fantastic piece Stan
I miss you, and your writing.! Wish I knew more, to compliment you
on your style and meter. This is awesome. I live on a river and directly
behind my house is a cove. The muffled sound of the geese I know
only too well. Great images Stan.
Happy Holidays, to youa nd yours.
Sue
scribbler
12 years 8 months ago
Hi Sue!
Good to see you here and don't worry about complimenting as long as you like it............stan