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WIND
The air is absolutely still
on this cool late autumn day
and such a cloudless crystal blue
one sneeze could blow it all away
It's Thanksgiving and the limbs are bare
each tree a sketch of varied gray
save scattered green cedars and pines
where the finches flit and play
Far shore's reflected on the pond
standing the whole world on its head
where the red hawks soar inverted
and rising sun turns the ground red
Calm air makes all sounds so loud
even beatles rustling in the duff
are detected by any with ears
if one listens close enough
And all the fields of grain and sedge
standing motionless and straight
seem tense with anticipation
like runners at the starting gate
All outdoors is waiting for
the quiet and stillness to end
and the end will surely come
with arrival of the wind
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
12 years 7 months ago
Hi Beau
Always good to receive your input and I'll keep it in mind when I edit this (I almost always edit but sometimes it takes a while lol) But I'm glad you enjoyed this and appreciate the visit.............stan
sueb
12 years 7 months ago
great imagery loved x
great imagery loved x
scribbler
12 years 7 months ago
Hi Sue
Thank you, for taking time to give a view......................stan
Ian.T
12 years 7 months ago
Stan
Up to your usual tricks with rhyme, i think I shall give five penneth in here:-
Lovely piece I must try and get use to this end word rhyme of two lines.
You enjoy your day out there and I hope you don't get the wind lol,
Yours Ian.T
scribbler
12 years 7 months ago
Hi Ian
Seems I heard there's a name for this type rhyme but I forgot what it is lol. Actually harder to write than you'd think.........stan
Seren
12 years 7 months ago
Stan
I have no suggestions this is a really tight poem I love the rhythm and pace its really very good
kudos
I tried to pick favourite lines but I liked them all lol :)
sincerely JC
scribbler
12 years 7 months ago
Hi Jayne
Suggestions or none, it's always nice to have you visit..................stan