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Dec 15, 2012
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A Precious Glimpse
Rambling rants of a disturbed mind
genius in his day, one of a kind
fighting against some archenemy
flailing and arguing continuously
family visit heartbroken
in their eyes, no need to be spoken
on a good day he just ignores
their presence, one of his chores
on a bad day swearing and cursing
a painted smile they've been rehearsing
the man they knew is long gone
but in their soul, his memory shone
they keep hoping for a breakthrough
a precious glimpse of the person they knew
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
12 years 7 months ago
Effective poem,
Effective poem, but i think your close to making it a very good poem. Just a bit more work i think. Love Roscoe..
sueb
12 years 7 months ago
thanks for reading and
thanks for reading and comment x