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OLD QUILT DAY
On this day, cold damp and gray
I look through rain drenched window pane
as mantle clock tics time away
while outside chill bare tree limbs sway.
I try to ignore old joints' pain,
another alteration brought by age
enhanced, perhaps, by winter rain.
No good is gained should I complain.
Another day, another page
yet one more day of living's paid
as I step closer to old age
a journey against which I rage.
I wrap myself in blanket, frayed
seeking warmth beneath the threadbare cover
an old quilt which my mother made
whose colors have begun to fade.
And as I sit I soon discover
a peaceful warmth enfolding me
warmth sewn in by my long passed mother.
Years fade as I think of her.
For in my mind I plainly see
her loving hands with shears and pins,
thick glasses on so she can see
stitching this future warmth for me.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
sueb
12 years 6 months ago
Hi sad start to the poem but
Hi sad start to the poem but the end left me feeling contentment lovely write much enjoyed all the best Sueb x
scribbler
12 years 6 months ago
Hi Sue
Thank you. Before she passed away Mom made all 4 of us kids a quilt to have for just such cold days. Appreciate your visiting...............stan
loved
12 years 6 months ago
you are a lucky man.... Stan
old mother thought of you
past her perhaps ....
so my son would remain warm
not withstanding the weather ,...
as well as
a devoted 38 years marriage wife
to brew coffee
how I ...
ok many will envy you
critics please kindly do excuse...
scribbler
12 years 6 months ago
Hi Loved
When old knees ache and paying bills is a struggle I just remind myself how lucky I really am. Thanks for visiting and leaving such kind comment..................stan
BettyBuff
12 years 6 months ago
How lovely
Scribbler, such a loving gift from your mum...hope you're going to try and pass it on? Love sustains in old age and you have actually been blessed, i'm envious. Could feel the warmth coming through the lexis. I'd love to see you have a crack at the free form and edit some of the unnecessary wording for effect...add a figurative image or too maybe? Enjoyed this.
Ells x
scribbler
12 years 6 months ago
Hi Ells
Of course it will be passed on. In fact it's seldom used so as to minimize wear. And since you requested I'll try a free form version.Hence when it receives bad reviews I'll blame it on You lol.............stan