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Jan 21, 2013
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Metamorphic
As landscapes go
its not dramatic
no high plains drama
no fragmented paving stones
the cliffs are banded
like wrapped candy-cane
Not even a lighthouse
to relieve the ash-like mud lines
It has a timeless sense
I could be a Victorian
a genteel visitor
or a rocker's moll
I sit on a gluteus shaped dip
of rock on the shore
in fact- place of daughters
genesis
her dad thrust & fumbled
under cover of twinkling
sheets soft ebbing swooshes
Gave me what I wanted
I return and sit
still and somnolent
often times
recording the
metamorphic changes
in my life
My place of healing
my bottom-shaped touchstone
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Jenifer James
12 years 5 months ago
Where is this poem set?
This is so gentle, Ells, and I 'saw' your place. You have 'bottom -shaped touchstone' and 'bottom shaped dip' - this repetition might be better if one was substituted for another word for one of them? I like the imagery of candy cane and cliffs.
BettyBuff
12 years 5 months ago
Hi Jenifer
Poem is about a little corner of the north Norfolk coast near a place called Hunstanton...a very typical old-fashioned seaside resort. I've been there since my own childhood and my daughter was (to her constant embarrassment as I always used to shout out..."oh there's the rock where we made you!".) Terrible mum, eh?
Frenchf
12 years 5 months ago
Good write
And truthful mother. Still havent told my daughter she was conceived in a car in Fleet street!
BettyBuff
12 years 5 months ago
LOL
K U D O S! hahahahaha...wow, good luck with that one, classy bird :))
Frenchf
12 years 5 months ago
Not really
Just desperate!
loved
12 years 4 months ago
you speak the truth ...the whole truth
you speak the truth ...the whole truth
I admire you F
for you guts
in a car you gave ...
birth the first insemination...
did he accept it !!
i wonder still
Frenchf
12 years 4 months ago
Not guts
But lust!
BettyBuff
12 years 5 months ago
Good point...
I'll do a quick edit...thanks :)
Seren
12 years 5 months ago
It made me think of a pregnant woman
I would also know where this was set I had in mind sweeping vista on the corner of England ... lovely poem hun made me feel peaceful
Brava
love Jayne-Chloe xxx
BettyBuff
12 years 5 months ago
Spot on...
Hiya JC,
Well I became pregnant after visiting! LOL...its a very gentle seaside resort on the North Norfolk coast in England...not dramatic landscape...just wide sandy beaches, huge skies, perfect for contemplating life. :))
Seren
12 years 5 months ago
OMG really it was just a feeling I had
sounds like a place I would love to contemplate, one day maybe you can show me ? smile
:))
BettyBuff
12 years 5 months ago
I love Hunstanton
Miss it v much. My parents still live in Norfolk, so I'll see it again sometime, I'm sure :))
loved
12 years 4 months ago
some years ago i had shared with someone their experience
some years ago
I had shared with someone their experience
on a hard rock
as big as the moon,
they two lay entwined
and some jerks and cuts on knees
here and there ...
both happened to burst
and later in the year
they loved the one
Who became a poetic verse...?
Sometime decades ago twas...
Lamar Ingraham
8 years 2 months ago
Re. As per 'Metamorphic'
Mrs. Ellie has an astoundingly tuned voice — graceful, sincere, firm, authentic, and at times funny — telling just the kinds of stories we need to get us through these times