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sueb
sueb
Feb 04, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Frozen

Frozen

in shock

Why didn’t I knock?

You could have locked the door
or was that part of the thrill
knowing you’d be caught for sure
If looks could kill
She’d be underground
I’m trying to keep my temper bound
I thought both of you were my best friend
now of course that has to end

Frozen

in shock

Why didn’t I knock?

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ireland, IRL

More from this author

Comments

F

Frenchf

12 years 5 months ago

What did you think

Sue what do you think Of ending it with Frozen? And nothing else? Based on Jens comment?

F

Frenchf

12 years 5 months ago

What did you think

Sue what do you think Of ending it with Frozen? And nothing else? Based on Jens comment?

J

Jenifer James

12 years 5 months ago

I used to repeat lines a lot

I used to repeat lines a lot (still want to), but tend not to as much now...I think it works here - echos regret and captures that little space in time you cannot return to.