Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Prisoner

A pair of wide eyes with nothing
to look at.
You ache for the gentle stroke
of the promising light.
Chin turned toward what promised
to save you.

A pair of limp arms, aimless and savage.
You're taken away.
Naked and confused. Sounds you'll never
understand. Fascinated.
A million hands crawl over your
helpless skin.

A pair of ears constantly ringing
with a promise to protect you.
You suckle at the hope of leaving.
I would miss home, too.
On the same breath, I would miss
being dead.

I remember you trying to hang yourself
off the back porch.

You didn't mean it.
You couldn't have.
You are just a dog.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

PadraicTheTerrible

Firstly welcome to Neopoet, and I must say you came in with a bang.
A very vivid piece. I fear that in some's sadness when they cry for help, as the tree in the forest, was there a cry if no one listens.
Not sure as Beau, who or what did what, this is a part that could be clarified, but your use of words and way of writing is very expressive.
Yours Ian.T

PadraicTheTerrible

PadraicTheTerrible

12 years 8 months ago

Thank you, all...

Thank you for the critique. I really appreciate it. I felt inspired as I watched the pets in my house and I was wondering if they felt intense emotions as we do. Obviously, a dog probably wouldn't go to an extreme such as that, but I wanted to draw comparisons between us and our animal companions. Well said, Beau and Ian. Thank you all for the comments.

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

P the T

Our dogs give us unconditional love, if only we could do the same for everyone we meet the world would be a lovely place to live in.
But we would learn nothing and would fall into lethargy, our Spirit needs this Earth life to learn of all things a Spirit cannot do.
Yours Ian.T