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Black Day All Tied Up...
Black Day All Tied Up…
I hate this fucking black tie,
men fidgeting while women cry.
Here we are, we meet again,
does it have to fucking rain.
All acting suitably subdued,
what else is there now but drink.
Morbid tales of others viewed,
gives everyone time to think.
A shiny wooden box for a final closure,
sure as hell nicer than cremation’s fire.
Undertaker hands on the burial brochure,
such an ending, he hopes we all require.
But as sadness grazes
on personal mortality,
I think of what amazes,
giving all instinctive vitality.
To see the young continue,
from an ancient’s common seat.
For them I must, no, will renew
my battle that corruption of
their lives I shall fucking defeat.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This says it all...
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
12 years 4 months ago
Wow, your poetry gets better and better.
I feel like quibbling about inconsistencies of form, but I'm not a quibbler and it works.
Roscoe Lane
12 years 4 months ago
Thank you,
Thank you and i will find time to iron out a few things. Regards Roscoe...
weirdelf
12 years 4 months ago
actually, I am a quibbler by nature
but in this instance I feel the inconsistencies work for you.
Frenchf
12 years 4 months ago
I can just imagine that funeral
And the guests and you with your tie on wishing to remove it.
It was fantastic
Roscoe Lane
12 years 4 months ago
It was,
It was not a good day, thank you for commenting. Regards Roscoe...
scribbler
12 years 4 months ago
Hi Roscoe
Funerals are always more about the living than the dead. For some it's almost a family reunion atmasphere. The rhyme scheme varied but it seems to work with this poem. I it were me I would write Will instead of will in line 3 last stanza.................stan
Roscoe Lane
12 years 4 months ago
Thank you,
Thank you Stan, you're correct they are a bit of a reunion. I took your advice partially anyway, and changed that line on the last verse. Thanks again. Regards Roscoe..