Window Pane

I am not a window pane
To be sat upon in the rain
I am not a viewer with a hallucinatory brain
To the box that sucks out souls
And sells them in the street
I can walk on my own
With my two cut off feet

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

Comments

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

Shamoneness

Quite a statement there, though the act of sitting on a window Pane would probably cause lots of Pain.
To alleviate the Pain would "Set Upon" be better for the rain, I would say it is a typo and start again, Yours Ian.T

Shamoneness

12 years 3 months ago

Thanks

for the comment. I guess "set upon" would make more sense; I wasn't really thinking when I wrote this x3 I just let it flow out.

Amber

Seren

12 years 3 months ago

Hi

is the box the TV ? I rather liked this one not sure if you should change sat for set it could be read two different ways, and I think you meant sat on but I could be wrong lol

nice to read you I dont think I have had the pleasure before :)

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

Shamoneness

12 years 3 months ago

Thank

you for reading! :) Yes, the box is the tv.

Amber

Lenny of Cohen

12 years 3 months ago

Cracking write!

Loved this piece! As for the TV set, a weapon of mass distraction, we have been without this monster which people base their lives around and even worship! For some folk its their religion.

Namaste,

Lenny