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Apr 01, 2013
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burning candle flame! (live visual..)
burning candle flame!
(live visual..)
she is like a candle
cold but very still
held in a lovers hand
so very still ...
till she is lit and flame starts flickering,
she flickers,flickers too
but slowly ,silently...
her body curvaceous
wriggles within
the arms of her consort
now she can’t slip out…
the flame warms up gradually
the wax begins to melt
lover her lips does cement
with breezes
he softly does blow
to make her brightness glow
as the wax
warms and melts
she can’t take a chance
to wiggle or wriggle
she collapses
in his arms
is ready to be molded
as per his will,
she also is no longer still!
Rest imagine what happens
if you will!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
eightmenout
12 years 3 months ago
Raw! Inviting! Where does he
Raw! Inviting! Where does he go from here?
Seren
12 years 3 months ago
Loved
Your writing poetry again ;) I also want to know more, there should be more to this one ... I liked this, with a little work it will be a wonderful poem
love Jayne-Chloe x
loved
12 years 3 months ago
SOS
your contribution will be welcome
loved
12 years 3 months ago
modified version howz it now any better
burning candle flame!
(live visual..)
she is like a candle
cold but very still
held in a lovers hand
so very still ...
till she is lit and flame starts flickering,
she flickers,flickers too
but slowly ,silently...
her body curvaceous
wriggles within
the arms of her consort
now she can’t slip out…
the flame warms up gradually
the wax begins to melt
lover her lips does cement
with breezes
he softly does blow
to make her brightness glow
as the wax
warms and melts
she can’t take a chance
to wiggle or wriggle
she collapses
in his arms
is ready to be molded
as per his will,
she also is no longer still!
Rest imagine what happens
if you will!
Seren
12 years 3 months ago
that reads much better :) its
that reads much better :) its more polished for sure, I am off to read the springy poem lol
love Jayne-Chloe
loved
12 years 3 months ago
thanks shall replace as I edit
really without you I won't be able to move an inch ,
nay a metre/meter